Kids movies, am I right? At least half the movies that make people cry are aimed at young children, as if the makers’ entire goal was to humble their audience and make them submit. I’ve personally never cried at a movie – though there was a some kind of 3D-glasses malfunction during Up that kept making my eyes water – but I can still empathize with these two pre-bros who can’t stop crying after a screening of The Odd Life of Timothy Green. A backseat fit their parents apparently saw fit to share with the world. And through it all, no one even thought to shout “I’LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT!”

Spoiler alert:

“He had to die and I didn’t want him to,” howls the younger boy, referring to the death of a central character who meets his end at the film’s denouement.
Though his mom attempts to console him — rationalizing the inevitability of death in the “circle of life” — the child was having none of it.
“But it was so sad. It was just so sad,” the boy says, sobbing. “I didn’t want him to.”
When asked if the movie was worth watching, the child had a warning for potential viewers.
“If you do, you will tear out your eyes. It was so sad,” he responds sagely.
His brother seemed a little more divided on the matter. “There were so many happy and sad moments,” he says through tears. [HuffPo]

I know it’s wrong, and that they’ll probably be taking some sh*t at school for this, but I can’t stop laughing. I guess that makes me no better than these heartless bastard-parents. It’s weird, I didn’t even know John Boehner had kids.

THESE COLORS DON'T RUN!

[Youtuber Geoff Roth via BadassDigest]

Related: The girl who cries after Star Wars. At least those kids had a reason to cry.