After director Tony Scott jumped off the Vincent Thomas Bridge in Long Beach on Sunday, a lot of us were like “Huh, maybe he had cancer or something,” because it’s nice when people who commit suicide have a reason. Brings logic to a chaotic universe and all of that. So then when ABC reported half a day later that “a source close to Tony Scott” told them that Scott had been diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer, we were all like, “well sure, that makes sense.” Except now, according to TMZ, it wasn’t true.

Tony Scott did NOT have inoperable brain cancer, or for that matter brain cancer at all  … this according to Scott’s family.
TMZ has learned … Scott’s wife told investigators the rumor that Tony had inoperable brain cancer is “absolutely false.”
Although the autopsy results have been deferred pending more tests, our sources say there is no evidence of brain cancer. [TMZ]

Hmm, well are your sources doctors who were involved in the autopsy? Because if they’re just random people off the street or, like, bus drivers or something, I’d be less inclined to believe them. In fact, why don’t you give us a hint as to these sources are? I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but we kind of got burned on the whole “unidentified source” thing recently.

NEXT UP! TMZ and ABC’s anonymous sources battle to the death in an invisible cage of ambiguity! Will someone survive? Will an unidentified entity perish? Is John Travolta gay? NO ONE KNOWS AND WE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO TELL YOU! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT…

[Picture source: NewsDaily]