At long last, we have the trailer for MGM’s remake of Red Dawn (directed by Bourne stunt coordinator Dan Bradley and actually shot in 2009), in which we reinvent a tiny hermit nation of starving Stalinists with a persecution complex as a massive invading force to avoid offending the Chinese (who, ironically for a Communist superpower, have too much money to risk alienating). The whole thing is in such wildly poor taste that I don’t know whether to be nauseated or impressed. All I know is that if they make it through the entire movie without calling anyone “gook” they’re full of sh*t. What’s he saying in the banner pic? “Piece of a sh*t?” Haha, okay, sure, buddy, whatever you say.
“FETCH MAH GUN, BOY! WE GOTTA GIT RID A THESE HERE, UH… PEOPLE OF ASIA! POA’S I CALL ‘EM! NOW SCRAM POA! WE DON’T LAHKE YER KIND IN THESE PARTS! AND BY ‘KIND’ AH MEAN INVADERS! WE DON’T LAHKE INVADERS, WHATEVER RACE THEY MAHGHT HAPPEN TA BE, RIGHT SON? NOW GIT! PTOOEY!”
Ah yes. This is what happens when you take a deliberately un-PC idea and try execute it with a stiflingly PC apparatus like a Hollywood studio. You can totally hear the behind-the-scenes conversation they had about switching the bad guys from Chinese to North Korean coming through in the expository dialog there.
BEHIND THE SCENES:
-But, sir, how do we change 1.4 billion Chinese people to 25 million North Koreans? Won’t that it make it wildly unrealistic?
-Pff, easy fix. It’s one line! ‘Oh, that’s why we invented the dut-duh-duh.’ All you need. Trust me, I’ve been in this business for 30 years.
ACTUAL SCENE:
-How did this happen?!?
-There’s a new class of weapon!
–
See? One line.
"The new script says WHAT?"
Oh, and yes, Connor Cruise is Tom Cruise’s adopted son with Nicole Kidman. Child celebrities, the true invaders.
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That trailer actually made me feel ill. Like, Kim-Jong-Ill
That banner pic could use some Megaphone Polanski.
“MORE UNDERAGE ASIAN GIRLS.”
BOYS, AVENGE ME! AVEEENGE MEEEE!
*Because, you see, my avatar is a dog*
This trailer was not approved by Lt. Bill Kilgore
There’s a new class of weapon!
SHARP CUT TO:
[images2.wikia.nocookie.net]
You can’t get any more trite than Hey Man Nice Shot.
robert dwyer is rolling in his grave
Rob Lowe really was prophetic in Thank You For Smoking.
Gotta love the fake Coach Taylor and West Dillon Panthers. Needs more Landy bashing communists if Tyra is gonna be running around.
“Let’s make Korean barbecue!!”
Somehow it doesn’t feel right that Nicholas Cage isn’t in this
I saw this at an advanced screening… people making fart noises actually classed up the picture. And that stoner looking kid from the Whackness plays the head of the rebels.
Right, buddy.
My roommate saw this last year at an advanced screening, he described it like they took Modern Warfare and made it into a movie. He proclaimed it as good.
Question: Why couldn’t they stay in the 80′s and have the Russians invade?
Actually, there is already a videogame with this exact premise. It’s called Homefront. It suffers from pretty much the same things this movie will.
Homefront and Red Dawn were both written by John Milius. So yeah, same thing.
There was another game called World in Conflict which featured a Soviet invasion of Seattle via container ships.
I think a good indication of if a movie is good or not is the music in the trailer, if there’s music from a band that wears glittery crosses and sings with an underbite, it’ll probably be shitty (ie: Clash of the Titans, Conan, Transformers).
Looks pretty good. : )
A superior force versus low tech guerillas? In film, celebrate the tactics your current opponents are using to defend their country against your invasion,, but decry them as cowardly when used in real life. USA! USA! USA!
wait, they fired an EMP weapon at the Western US, managed to take out NORAD (?), but not whatever weapon shot down the aircraft early in the trailer and the broadcast equipment out there, somehow escaped the notice of every ship in the Pacific Ocean, every satellite in orbit, as well as Canada and South America?
Not to mention the whole “our stuff actually moves around in the event of a first strike of that nature” concept.
And, oh ya, NORTH FUCKING KOREA!
If your movie is either going to be culturally offensive (making China the invading force) or intellectually offensive (making NORTH FUCKING KOREA the invading force) maybe you shouldn’t make your movie.
I’ve been monitoring Youtube comments, and you would not believe the number of Political Science majors that apparently surf Youtube during the day,
Anyone who would NOT believe it has never taken a polisci class. All the students do is surf the internet while the prof rambles on about how evil Dubya was, or how amazing Obama is.
Powers Boothe still has the same goddamn hairline he had in 1984. They could have spliced in his scenes and saved some money on casting Chris Cooper’s uglier twin and no one would have noticed. Mostly because everyone is going to be drunk when they see this, but also because, same hairline.
Danzig was going to be in this, but he thought the rest of the Wolverines were too gay.
I made an account just to applaud this comment. Well done, sir…
Shoot that Mongoloid! *everyone aims at Josh Hutcherson* NO, GODDAMNIT! Shoot the ASIAN guy.
YES
Walter Sobchak cameo or GTFO!
North Koreans invade the U.S. and within one week of looting grocery stores & chain restaraunts becoming deathly ill from too much food.
+1
Seriously, if North Koreans invaded, it would only take a Sizzler to draw them out of battle.
Is it just me or does this look like a shitty version of the Dark Knight subplot with Bane taking over Gotham
At least they kept the wildly inaccurate portrayal of an invasion. That’s one of my favorite parts of the original, when the paratroopers land and just start wildly shooting and running. They call it “military precision” for a reason, countries don’t just invade by throwing men into the middle of the country and having them go on killing sprees.
Also, they really should’ve gotten George W Bush to read the copy from the trailer.
Ah…. The Pacific Northwest. The whitest place in America.
The porn parody will be about an invasion from Africa.
Anybody?
No?
Because, you know…. Black guys. White girls.
No? Still?
They shoulda used a Patrick Swayze hologram.
After hearing about the decision to use N. Korea as the invading country of choice I immediately lost interest in it. The fact is there is no way we could be devestated and/or taken over like the movie’s premise is about by them. The whole time I can imagine sitting in the theater wondering, “How in the hell is this possibly happening?” and therefore losing my movie going experience and also my money as well. Still prefer the original with all its campy glory.
Seriously, how do those planes refuel?
Where do they get their armor and logistical equipment from? It can’t just be infantry. we have an armed populace.Large city police forces would be able to hold them off.
How the hell do they maintain a supply line.
At least the original established that the revolution took over Latin America. Even that was goofy.