I heard the green guy likes to bone.

Hi there.

Two things you’ll have to come to grips with as we continue our wild adventure together:

1) They are making a Justice League movie (Is it going to feature Martian Manhunter prominently or WHAAAT??!!)
2) THEN they will start up with the whole Batman series reboot (tentative title: Spaceballs: The Flamethrower)

We heard this all from the fellas at Batman on Film (how they’ll handle the upcoming digital age remains unclear at press time). Here’s the whole article.

I do have some questions that weren’t answered by the article, and I will posit them to you, much as a teenage girl would in her diary. You’ll just have to imagine all the heart shapes and adorable squiggles.

– How did writer Will Beall land a Justice League movie? His credits include Castle and Gangster Squad, a film that currently resides in “Fiasco City” due to the Aurora shootings, requiring a complete re-working of the material. Of course, this isn’t Beall’s fault, the world happens and we adjust, but he’s also seemingly landed Logan’s Run and Lethal Weapon 5 writing gigs. All of this means that, within three years, Mr. Beall will either be all of our bosses or the writing equivalent of Taylor Kitsch (Battleship, John Carter, Savages). If you are Mr. Beall, we’d like to meet you, and pitch you this idea we have about an iguana who runs for president, only he gets marooned with a whole mess of co-eds from Arizona State. We’d probably have a good shot at some beer sponsorships. Everyone loves talking animal movies.

- The films will also be compared, inevitably, to Christopher Nolan’s work, and he/she will lose in said comparison, because Christopher Nolan is much smarter than that person. And that person is a dumbhead. This sentiment was brought to you by The Internet, and the denizens of The Internet, all of whom pay our rent.

- Everyone will also immediately compare everything involved to The Avengers. Didja see that one? A good clean romp.

-Whatever director takes on this new Batman series will be inheriting a true mess, no doubt about it, because he/she will be locked into a JLA (+cool points) mythology. Speaking of, the JLA film will have to face an issue that’s plagued comic book aficionados for decades – Supes vs. Bats. They are really different guys. One is a God. The other is a rich dude. One is a Christ-like figure. The other was the first mainstream “dark” comic book character. You would think a film with this sort of tension couldn’t stand on its own, and you’d probably be right.

If, somehow, Justice League pulls off Supes meets Bats (and I think it was done best in “The Death of Robin”), then that compromised version of Batman will be the one the new director has to roll with. It would be like taking over Larami Waterguns after the ruling came down that they couldn’t make their water guns look like assault rifles anymore. Bummer city.

So there’s that. I suppose this is all a long-winded way of saying I’m worried about this Batman reboot. Unless they get the other Nolan brother. Then I’m totally back in.