Courtesy of Entertainment Weekly, a deleted scene from The Avengers has just hit the web. The Avengers hits DVD September 25th, and in the scene, starring Mark “Disheveled Penis” Ruffalo and veteran character actor Harry Dean Stanton, the security guard played by Stanton – his job is to guard empty warehouses, but his passion is to give strangely-insightful advice to random strangers – asks The Hulk/Bruce Banner, “So which one is it? Are you a big guy who gets all little, or are you a little guy who sometimes blows up a lot?”
Whoa. That’s deep, brah. (*huge bong load*) So what you’re saying is… maybe the thing I’ve been running from… has been inside me all along? (*cough, cough*) Dust in the wind, dude, dust in the wind.
Whoa. Time's going by really, really, really slow.
[hat tip: LatinoReview]
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BOYS. AVENGE ME.
Oh.
Girl, too.
Sorry.
Didn’t see your little gun.
I like how ‘character actor’ has come to be code for ‘professional one-note weirdbeard.’
Yeeeaaah, he’s way more interesting when he’s wrecking shit and/or punching people.
Dooodooodadoooo…Pretty in Green.
Hey remeber when Banner got all drunk and high with Spiderman’s girlfriend? That was surprising.
Philosophy is a walk on the slippery rocks or so I’ve been told. Or is it the smile on a dog? Maybe this Stan Lee can help me out with some draw’rings.
“Alright Ruffles, you’ve just morphed back into a human after smashing shit up as the Hulk. While you deliver your lines, I want you to think about Rubik’s cubes – how do they work, right? ACTION!”
“If try get rid of fear and anger without know meaning, will grow stronger and return.” -Deephulk Choprulk
Security Guard: Plato said once that a hero is born among a hundred, a wise man is found among a thousand, but an accomplished one might not be found even among a hundred thousand men.
Banner: Ah, but didn’t socrates claim that all mens souls are immortal but the souls of righteous men are both immortal AND divine?
Security Guard: See, it’s all about righteousness. Confucius said that–
Banner: CONFUCIUS!
*Turns green*
*Expands*
*Rips guard’s arms off*
Hulk: No like confucius!
*Goes to school*
*Gets a Masters in Philosophy*
*Drives back to scene*
Hulk: Confucius say Better diamond with flaw than pebble without.
Armless Security Guard: Thanks dickhead.
And… SCENE!
Nice, but you forgot that the security guard was totally asking for it.
I mean, you can’t just ask the Hulk to show you the sound of one hand clapping and not expect him to rip off one of your arms.
LMAO!! Oh man. These 2 are tied for comment of the week. You have my vote. I’m in tears here.
I wonder how that security guard told his superiors. “Well, a green monster started crashing through the place, and then he crashed through the place.”
Seeing any man shrink would make him less interesting… but Ruffalo been doing it for years….que hipster glasses….
Look at those assholes, ordinary fucking characters.
This scene is as fucking awkward as the butler explaining Green Goblin’s death to Harry Osborn in Spider-Man 3.
The life of an empty warehouse guard is intense.
“This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Disney.”
“The Avengers XXX: The Hulk Gets Deep” — Coming in a theater near you.