Shia LaBeouf’s wiener to get bitten off by Lars von Trier’s fox, basically

As I told you a while back, Lars von Trier’s next project is called Nymphomaniac, and it’s basically the female equivalent of Shame starring Charlotte Gainsbourg, a film about the “erotic adventures of a woman from her youth to age 50.” Lars von Trier once made a movie about people who pretend to be retarded having explicit orgies, so it’s probably going to be awesome. Well now Shia LaBeouf, having recently gone full peen in a Sigur Rós video, is in talks to join the cast. Once you’ve gotten a taste of waving your wiener around in wierd nordic art films, it’s probably hard to stop.

Shia LaBeouf has set his sights on Danish director Lars von Trier’s ambitious erotic drama Nymphomaniac, which is set to begin production in September. The Transformers star is in talks to join a cast led by Charlotte Gainsbourg.
Nymphomaniac follows the erotic adventures of a woman (Gainsbourg) from her youth to age 50, as recounted to her husband (Stellan Skarsgard). It’s not clear how big LaBeouf’s role would be.
Von Trier is splitting the English-language project into two films and will shoot a softer and more explicit version of each. No domestic distributor is aboard, but rights have been sold off in numerous foreign markets. [THR]

VON TRIER: Okay now Shia, first you haff sex viss za Mongoloid, oont zen za fox say ‘Chaos reeeeeigns,’ oont bite off your schvanza. Ready?

LABEOUF: NO no no no no nonono NO no no no no nonononono NO…

Get it? It’s a metaphor for American hegemony.

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