
If your hipster loft is lacking in kitschy trinkets for children, FEAR NOT! Now, for the low low price of $12 (from the creator, ILoveMEL), you can ratchet up the whimsy with a Ryan Gosling coloring book! (Or, if you’re across the pond, you can pay £9 for a Ryan Gousling Colouring Booke). “Hey, girl, I don’t mind being colored. I respect all races.”
You can play video games and skee ball at bars, why not have coloring books at your house (if this doesn’t end up in the coffee table book section of Urban Outfitters I’ll eat my scarf)? Hey, internet, here’s a free idea for you: an adult diaper that says “I HEART BACON.” Get it? Because everyone loves bacon, right?? …I’m sorry. I’m only being negative because I know that people like me are both the target audience for this and a large part of the reason that exists. In fact, I wrote a song called “Self-Loathing Hipster” on my ukulele, and it goes a little something like this…
I’m glad to see that Patches was included, but not having the scene where Baby Goose stomps the guy’s head from Drive seems like a major oversight.









“Hey girl, don’t mind if you color outside my lines.”
“Hey girl, the only way you’ll make me blue is with that sky blue Crayola in your hand”
Hey girl, there may be 64 colors in that crayon box but only one captures Patches’ joie de vivre. It’s Burnt Sienna.
“Or, if you’re across the pond, you can pay £9″ – [BREAK FOR TEN MINUTES OF HORRIBLE NBC PROMOS] – “for a Ryan Gousling Colouring Booke.”
Hey girl, we may be on opposite pages, but when we close the book, we’re kissin’!
“Hey girl, careful with those watercolours, Patches gets pretty silly when he thinks he’s getting a bath”
Hey girl, I only color hearts in permanent marker.
Hey girl, you put the ray in Crayola.
I’m so glad we can change out colors of my jacket whenever we want. I love you swatches.
Hey girl. I taped over the sharpener on the box, in case you got scared.
Hey girl, I thought about doing a children’s movie, but arts and crafts do so much more to enrich children’s lives.
Hey girl, if you don’t like my new sweater you can just Color Me Sadd.
/terrible of me, I know
“Hey girl, you know I’m tickled pink for you”
Hey girl, it’s bittersweet to see Patches in a coloring book when he can’t see colors.
Hey girl, that’s cute how you gave Baby Goose blue balls! Heh. And don’t be surprised if these pages are stuck together when you come back, fuckin’ cock tease.
This is silverfoxism on both I Love Mel & FilmDrunk’s part that George Clooney’s name isn’t mentioned once in this post
Damn it, Vince! Stop feeding the pigeons with that “Hey Girl” birdseed. There’s poop all over the page now.
“Hey girl, Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.”
-R’yan
Pshaw, whatever man, screw you and your fake “hipster” coloring books. I loved Baby Goose before loving Baby Goose was the cool thing to do.
*blows hair out of eyes, adjust skinny jeans, shotguns PBR*
No seriously, I thought he was swell in Young Hercules.
Kinda looks like he should be on Archer.