There’ve been a lot of crazy news stories going around this week – a guy shot himself in the ass in a theater, Jonah Hill took pictures of a placenta, a prisoner lost his butt drugs, a guy brought an arsenal to a Dark Knight screening – and amazingly, none of them happened in Florida. Well that streak ends today as a man named “Jackmeoff Mudd” was arrested in Broward County. Poor Primus, their song now seems a quaint relic of yesteryear.
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. – A man who claims his name is Jackmeoff Mudd has been arrested on a variety of charges.
It’s not known if the 54-year-old’s real name is indeed Jackmeoff, but that’s the name that is being used by the Broward Sheriff’s Office.
Fort Lauderdale police arrested Mudd last Friday on six charges, including assault, disorderly conduct, resisting an officer/obstruction without violence and possessing alcohol in a public area. [Local10]
So yes, it’s quite possible “Jackmeoff Mudd” isn’t his real name. It could be something even better, like Chad Farthouse or Steve Titwiener. Or, it could be his real name. Hey, stranger things have happened. We could be dealing with a Boy-Named-Sue situation, where his parents named him “Mudd” so that he’d have to struggle to make something of himself. It appears to have backfired, but give him time, he’s only 54.
“Jackmeoff” is just the subtext of “Taylor” anyway.
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He was probably too drunk to tell the cops how to spell Aloysius Devadander Abercrombie.
If your Uncle Jackmeoff Mudd was stuck on a roof . . . wait, I told it wrong.
Raving psycho — butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. I’m taking him back to Nevada where he’s wanted for bangin’ horses.
Looks like Kirk Lazarus researching another role.
+1
If this guy introduces himself to you, do NOT extend your hand.
[i.imgur.com]
nothing else needs to be said
I think now is a good time to turn Florida into a real life Escape from New York.
Dryhump Powder was questioned, but released.
‘Jackmeoff Mudd, everyday’ is just one of the many classics in the Dave Matthews Band back catalogue.
With a name like that, you can’t tell if he’s coming or going.
UPDATE: Jackmeoff Mudd was later released by Officer Sugartits after Blowme Gibson posted bail.
There is nothing about his face I do not like.
My name is MaCrackin… Phil MaCrackin.
Jail ‘bate
It gets awkward when he and the missus go to social events. “Have you met the Mudds? May I present Amanda, Jerkmeoff.”
FastInAtl – “What are the chances a state like you and a weirdo like Florida won’t be related?”
Jackmeoff – “Not good”
FastInAtl – “Youuuuu mean not good like one out of a hundred”
Jackmeoff – “I’d sayyyy, more like one out of a million”
FastInAtl – “So you’re telling me there’s a chance! YEAHHHHH”
“Please, ‘Mr. Mudd’ was my father…”
“…just Jerkmeoff. That’ll do.”
“Jackmeoff” is as believable a first name for a guy with the last name “Mudd” as any other.
Reminds me of the pseudonym I use for my online dating account: Cornhole McCumstain
And who says there’s no such thing as destiny…
Vince, enough with this pretending that Florida is any crazier than any other state. We get it. You are like the kid in grammar school saying “my neighborhood is tougher than your neighborhood.” There is just as much crazy stuff happening in Louisiana, Mississippi, Ohio, NY, etc. Why you get a hard on every time some idiot gets arrested in Florida, I will never know.
Why do I get the impression that you’ll be able to run this exact headline every couple of years until he inevitably tries and fails to consummate his nuptials with Jenny, an irritated crocodile?