What with all the Bourne movies flying around and parkouring down rails on their motorcycles, you might not have noticed that it’s been 10 years since a Tom Clancy novel made it to the big screen. At some point, Paramount apparently decided that Clancy didn’t write enough books, and bought an original script from Adam Cozad called Moscow, based on the Clancy character Jack Ryan. Then they paid David Koepp seven figures to rewrite it. They hired Chris Pine to star alongside Kevin Costner, and Kenneth Branagh to direct and play the villain, and somewhere along the line they renamed it “Jack Ryan” and set it for a Christmas 2013 release.
After various starts and stops, bad luck and good fortune, the release date for Jack Ryan now is Christmas Day of 2013. It goes up against Universal’s martial arts movie 41 Ronin with Keanu Reeves as well as Fox’s comedy remake of The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty directed by and starring Ben Stiller. Jack Ryan resurrects the popular Tom Clancy character of CIA analyst Jack Ryan last seen on film in 2002 and now played by Chris Pine in the role already made famous by Alec Baldwin, Harrison Ford, and Ben Affleck. This contemporized original prequel story picks up Ryan before he joined the CIA. [Deadline]
Jack Ryan now joins Bucky Larson, Jack Reacher, John Carter, Ruby Sparks, Charlie Bartlett, Alex Cross, and others in a long line of films un-intriguingly named after characters no one has heard of or gives a sh*t about yet, that already have, or probably will bomb. In case you’re keeping track:
Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan titles: The Hunt for Red October, The Sum of All Fears, Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger.
Paramount’s Jack Ryan title: Jack Ryan.
Which one sounds f*cking boring to you?
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Ryan Gosling likes the title “Jack” Ryan, if he can pick his co-star.
Why not Jack Ryan…OF MARS. John Carter isn’t using it. Waste not, want not.
Baby Goose does NOT think dirty thoughts like that. You take that back!
My bad, it was Ryan Reynolds.
Hey girl, I’d ask you for a handy, but I’d never want you to do something you’re not comfortable with.
Wait, there’s going to be a Jack Reacher AND a Jack Ryan? How will American audiences tell the difference?!?!?!
Now’s the time to re-release Coppola’s Jack, Jack’s Back, and Jack-O.
I’m also pitching a Rastafarian rom-dram called Jah Cryin’.
Has no one learned the lesson of John Carter?
Sorry for the dickstep there, Rawhead.
Then again, it deserves reiterating. When you have the opportunity to name your movie “Martian Gladiators” and you pass it up, you deserve to lose $200 mil.
I would totally have paid to see a movie called Martian Gladiators. I mean, I did see John Carter but… I didn’t pay.
I always thought more people would’ve seen Dahmer if it had been called “Queer and Piquant Danger”.
Why is Rodney Dangerfield signing Tom Clancy’s book? Isn’t he dead? No… nothing about this adds up at all…
This character’s-name-as-title trend really worked well for Stallone (Rocky, Rambo, Judge Dredd) and Schwarzenegger (The Terminator, Commando). Come to think of it, Commando Jones was one of the greatest characters ever to grace the silver screen
The first Rambo movie was titled First Blood, and the sequel Rambo: First Blood Part II. The Terminator is stretching your point too – do you think that film would have done as well if it had been named John Connor?
I’m surprised the movie did as well as it did considering Schwarzenegger’s lack of eyebrows during the 2nd & 3rd acts
Jack needs to be more like Rex Ryan. Every scene would begin with a door flying open and Jack entering the room loudly boasting about the size of the dump he just took.
Or Rob Ryan, about the Mexican whores he banged in his sex van.
Or Bob Ryan. A guy I went to high school with who used to get pretty wild sometimes.
I’m still shopping my gynecological thriller, “Pap Smear and Present Danger”.
Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Dicks
Whenever I see “Clear and Present Danger” all I can think of now is the Frotcast episode where Vince randomly threw out “Clear and Present Boners”, much to Brendan’s delight.
I love this series, and despite the name, know that the movie will be pretty good. I’ve read a bunch of the books and the stories only get better and more in tune with current events. The most recent I’ve read actually follows Jack Ryan’s son and is spectacular. Sorry for being so serious.
/dick joke.
At least Taylor Kitsch isn’t staring in it. He’s now the Summer Glau of film franchises.
We need a Rainbow Six miniseries.
Is the Latino guy who played the sniper in Clear and Present Danger, and every other Latino role in the mid nineties, still working?
Yeah. He was Tuco on Breaking Bad.
Oh, and he was in The Closer/is in Major Crimes.
Basically, yes.