That poor guy on the right is the Mormonest-looking dude the trench coat mafia ever recruited
As I'm sure you're aware by now, finding a new batch of Twilight publicity stills in my email inbox is as close to Christmas morning as it gets around here. Summit just sent over about eight new stills from The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (including one of author Stephenie Meyer!), which opens November 16th, and I did my best to add context to them like always, but keep in mind, I've only seen bits and pieces of a couple of the Twilight movies on cable. NOTE: I'm NEVER GOING TO STOP MAKING PETER FACINELLI/MIKE DEXTER JOKES, DO YOU HEAR ME? NEVER!
OH, BALLA. AH REMAMBER FURST DAY AH SAW YEW IN TEH SCIENCE. HOW COULD ADWURD KNOW THAN THAT YEW WOULD SAHMDAY BAR MAH VAMPAHR BABAY? AH LAUVE YEW, BALLA. AH AHM SAWRY BABAY BRAKE YOUR SPINE, BUT AM HAPPAY YEW ARE VAMPAHR NOW.
BALLA GIVE TO YEW JEWELERRY, RENAZMAY. YEW ARE VARRY AMPARTANT VAMPAHR BABBAY AND YEW WARE THE SCARF.
DON'T SPARKLE TEW HARD, ADWARD, YOUR VAMPAHR SKIN MAHGHT BURN THE WAHLDFLEURS. OH. AH LAUVE YEW, ADWARD. AH LAUVE YEW, WAHLDFLEURS.
HALP ME, RENAZMAY. TAL ME WHY ADWURD CAN'T OPEN MAH EYES. IS IT BECAUSE AH AM VAMPAHR? USE YOUR TELEPATHIC. USE YOUR JEWELARRY.
RENAZMAY. READ THIS SANTENCE CORRACTLY AND THE LAMA FEED YEW CRACKERS.
OKAY, BALLA. TAHME TO LOOK STRONG. YEW ARE NO LONGER GURL IN HAHGH SCHOOL WITH TEH HART BURNZ. YEW ARE POWERFUL VAMPAHR. THE VAMPAHR POWERS BURNS INSIDE BALLA SO HOT MAKE EYEBALLZ YALLOW. COME AT ME, VAMPAHRS! NOT IF BALLA GAT YEW FURST!
"Time to take publicity photos? Ooh, I better look good for this. Here, hand me that slouchy hoodie two sizes too big."
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/grown-ups-2-has-a-trailer-now-should-be-called-groan-ups-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/uproxx-video-whats-your-twilight-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/02/Emma-Watson1-150x150.jpg)
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*applauds*
I think I peed a little at #6.
Stephanie might give thought to wearing orange when she walks in teh fawrest.
Those are some impressive thighs in that last shot. I mean you could fit six, maybe seven, cats on them.
I’ve heard of child-bearing hips but was not aware of cat-bearing thighs.
I wonder if I can get a government grant to figure out if one causes the other.
Homo_ I believe one prevents the other.
Trip McNeely says they’re all pre-med
*Goes back to correcting his Twilight: Breaking Bad t-shirt.
Not to be confused with Twilight: Breaking Wind.
Is #8 the quirky vampire with a good personality?
It’s a good thing Hollywood is as discerning in their choice of photographer as they are with their subject matter… HEY GOOFUS! YOU FORGOT TO TAKE THE RED EYE OUT!
I’d just like to point out that on the Can’t hardly Wait IMDB page, Michelle Brookhurst has the character name “Girl Whose Party It Is”
It really is sad that the little girl is the most expressive actor in those photos. Is K-Stew’s face made of stone or something? No one can maintain that dull, lifeless expression forever naturally. Even the dead look more full of life than she does.
I like how in #5 it looks like he’s looking around to make sure nobody is watching as he puts the little girls hand on his junk. “You’re whore of a girl-who-plays-your-mother cheated on me with some old dude so this’ll show her”
Vince’s color-blinded dog eyes strike again confusing red for yellow.
Aman-Duh!
#8, is she funny?
Isn’t that guy on the right Dexter’s dead brother?
#8 is the “Pastry Vampire”. She sucks the fillings out of donuts, Twinkies, fruit pies, Ding Dongs, and Ho-Hos and has two cats named Ganachemee and Renestlee.