
Aww, YOU GUYS, Baby Goose is making a movie. Like, that he wrote and is directing and everything. Titled How to Catch a Monster (Alternate title: Hey Girl, I Caught That Monster For You), the film stars Christina Hendricks from “Mad Men,” and is set to begin production in early 2013. But wait, you’re probably thinking, is there a plot? There’s definitely a plot, right? YUP
Written and directed by Ryan Gosling, How to Catch a Monster weaves elements of fantasy noir, and suspense into a modern day fairytale. Set against the surreal dreamscape of a vanishing city, Billy, a single mother of two, is swept into a macabre and dark fantasy underworld while her teenage son discovers a secret road leading to an underwater town. Both Billy and Bones must dive deep into the mystery, if their family is to survive. [MovieWeb]
Here’s where I’m conflicted: One hand, I really, really want to imagine that when they’re filming the scary or creepy scenes in the movie, Baby Goose will be cowering under his canvas-backed director’s chair, slowly rocking back and forth with his knees tucked into his chest, and timidly whispering instructions into his megaphone until Christina Hendricks walks over and kneels down and gives him a speech about being a big boy and remembering that it’s all make believe, and that he can say cut whenever it gets too scary. On the other hand, however, I have seen Drive, so I also have this image in my head of him confidently striding all over the lot wearing a badass-as-f-ck scorpion jacket and just wordlessly staring at extras who miss their marks until the intensity of his gaze causes them to wet themselves or run away (or both).
Basically what I’m getting at is that I think a lot about Ryan Gosling.
Photo credit: Joe Seer / Shutterstock.com



Hey girl, you can catch more monsters with honey than with vinegar.
Hey girl, don’t think that there is any innuendo in my naming a teenage boy Bones. It’s not like he has a permawood because of Christina’s jugs or anything.
I like to imagine every scene starts off with Baby Goose standing over an actor with his fist cocked back giving them their line directions:
“From now on every word that comes out of your mouth is written on page 28 – you understand?”
Hey girl, I’m writing this script with a #2 pencil. Why #2? Because you’re my #1.
Hey girl, my casting couch is strictly for catch-and-release.
Hey girl, I love sweaters and puppies too! Oh. Oh my.
(cut to Patches covering eyes with paws)
Hey girl, we’re doing the thunder & lightning effects in post. Storms make Patches scared
Sour Patch Twinsies!
Hey girl, I’m directing a story about World War 2, except the nazis are puppies and love is their weapon.
Hey girl, I prefer to call my personal assistant ‘Member of Team Humanity’
Hey girl, I’ll catch the monster in your closet. Everyone deserves to be respected for who they are.
/It Gets Better
Hey girl, I’ll catch a Muenster. I want your sandwich to be the best.
Baby Goose will attempt to answer the age old question of “Can an entire movie be scored with a ukulele?”
Clooney knows what’s up.
Hey girl, there’s no corporate sponsorship or influence on this movie. The smiles on dedicated movie goers’ faces are simply brought by the letter U*.
*and P. Mad golden showzza deleted scenes, son! – C-Tates, Kraft Services
Hey girl, why you tryna catch monsters? You already caught my heart.
True story: Filmdrunk Fave Lisa Rinna played a girl named Billy on “Days of Our Lives”.
Another true story: In His childhood, The Mighty Feklahr’s stepmother used to watch “Days of Our Lives”. (During “Duck Tales”, ta boot!)
Hey girl, I’mma make sure your pretty brains stay inside your head this time.
So yeah, did you know Baby Goose had a horror themed band? It’s true…so I’m guessing SOUNDTRACK
Hey girl, Hey girl.
Gosling’s attempt at “blue steel” is cute.