As soon as Steve Jobs died, everyone wanted to make a biopic, including, reportedly, Aaron Sorkin, whose version will undoubtedly end with Jobs recanting on his death bed, sorry he ever helped inadvertently invent those meanie blogs (“No, seriously: I have a blog??!?”). Oh, but there’s another Steve Jobs biopic, independently financed by a guy who makes real estate textbooks and starring noted thespian Ashton Kutcher. It may or may not have been rushed into production to beat the other one, and oh, according to ScreenRant and CultofMac, the actual title is “jOBS.”
No way this is real, right? This seems less like a real movie than it does a hypothetical idea for a movie to use in an iMovie tutorial. I’m counting down the days until a rights issue forces them to re-write Kutcher’s character as Steep Occupations, revolutionary inventor of the I-Mod. This is the Jackie Jormp-Jompest thing I’ve ever seen.
[pics via X17]
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I guess my e-mail campaign to have Sorkin recast his with Danny Trejo (working title “Yobs”) was all for naught. Maybe I should’ve sent hand-written letters?
maybe we should have sent them the picture with Kimono Trejo
This is the male equivalent of casting Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist.
But worse.
This is for the Lifetime channel – right?
Or is this one of those Asylum movies like “Almight Thor” with Richard Grieco as Loki?
They might as well name it pUNK’D.
I thought it was iPUNK’d
There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don’t.
Or so the IT monkey who monitors my porn consumption at work tells me. EAT IT, JON JIN !
Tyler Perry’s studio fire was obviously just God firing lightning at this and missing.
*waits for Tyler Perry’s Studio Fire to become a new movie, TV show, or hipster band*
Oddly, the Jobs pic *does* have the right to use Hendrix music.
Breaking: they’re turning this into three movies and renaming it Jobbit.
Dude, where’s my slide rule?
“So I’ll be able to carry thousands of songs in this little device and listen to them anywhere I go? That’s pretty cool”
Jobs: “Ya Think!’
Oh my God! Dude, I just realized that I had a job playing Steve Jobs in a Steve Jobs biopic called Jobs! – Ashton Kutcher, 2017
If you haven’t talked on an IPhone then you haven’t seen shakespear the way it was meant to be done
So when do we get the Arron Sorkin written Nikki Finke bio pic?
Danny Masterson is still trying to win the part of Wozniak. He consumed most of Sean Astin’s corpse to bulk up.
Kutcher is such a pussy they should call it maxiPad.
I’d like to nominate Danny Bloom’s rant of inexplicable length and righteous indignation from the April 2nd story about this that is linked on the sidebar for something. I don’t know what that something is, but damnit, it deserves recognition. That beautiful son of a bitch puts the whole damn system of blogging from jack-off couches on trial.
I just rented a movie this weekend about jobs but it didn’t have anything to do with computers.
My Aimee Copeland themed porno will be entitled kNobs.
There’s an app for that.
The porno version should be easy to re-title.
This Ain’t Jobs: An XXX Parody
Steve Jorbs.
Assbag Koocher’s most hate-able offense to date, which is saying a lot