Kate Upton and her breasts, Larry and Moe. (Not pictured: her pubic hair.)
After the past few weeks with only a few new major studio flicks getting DVD releases, this week we’ve got plenty. Unfortunately, it’s stuff like The Three Stooges. It’s not all bad though -assuming you like movies with Will Ferrell, Kristen Wiig, Adam Scott, Jon Hamm, Guy Pearce, Clive Owen, Mel Gibson, Ewan McGregor, Willem Dafoe, Tom Hardy, Jackie Mason, Ben Foster, or that dude who played Balki on Perfect Strangers. That’s right, they are all in new movies hitting DVD this week. Besides those stars, we’ve got flicks about vampires and school shootings and even a found-footage haunted house flick. There’s even Davy Jones’ final film appearance, and how could you pass that up?
The DVDs:
The Three Stooges
Casa de mi Padre
Friends With Kids
Lockout
Intruders
Get The Gringo
Salmon Fishing In The Yemen
4:44 Last Day On Earth
Deserter
Goldberg – P.I.
Here
Virgin Alexander
Girls Gone Dead
Midnight Son
Hidden Rage
Documenting The Grey Man
The only way to know for certain which film features your favorite Monkee is to keep reading on the next page. If you’re more of a Micky Dolenz fan, feel free to skip right to the Netflix suggestions by clicking here.
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Her pubic hair being “Curley”?
Wrong. Its Shemp.
I watched Friends With Kids the other night and made it through about it an hour before quitting. For a cast with so many people I love, this was one disappointing turd. It was so damn boring.
It also didn’t help that I don’t usually like Maya Rudolph at all, and her character in this one was exceptionally annoying.
This week’s Christian feature is a gritty reimagining™ of Psalms 34:11.
I saw Lockout last night and loved it. The special effects were laughably bad and there’s a scene near the end that is just ridiculous, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. Escape From New York In Space is exactly what this is, and that’s what I was hoping for when I picked it up.
Joseph Gilgun (Rudy from Misfits) is absolutely fantastic in this movie and deserves some recognition. Guy Pearce is also fantastic playing “Snow”, the “every hero ever” hero, and I would pay to see this character again.
I saw it in theaters and am right there with you. The opening action bits were so cartoony that I could only assume the special effects were deliberately bad to achieve that look. Loved the face plant into the side of a building Wile E Coyote style.
It wouldn’t be too hard to believe that Get The Gringo is the winner up there.
Swapping Maria Bello for the ‘messican tard kid from The Sitter gives me pause but I do own Payback.
The director’s cut of Payback makes it a very different film and it’s really really fucking good. Mel even apologizes for fucking it up the first time around and not “getting it”, and straight up says he likes this version better in the making of material for the DC.
Thanks for the heads up… that is a very different movie.
I’ll keep the swing of the the theatrical cut and its color scheme especially. No added grit for me.
You mentioned Cider House Rules WITHOUT pointing out that Charlize Theron gets buck-naked in it. And you call yourself a reviewer.
She doesn’t have a dick -it didn’t fit my thesis.
There is no penis reference in the rest of the CHR review. Other than Michael Caine being in it.
And you promised me Mickey Dolenz would be here. I demand a refund!
It’s not that EVERY flick mentioned would get a penis reference, it’s that any references to nudity would be about penises. Also, Leo DiCaprio in Gilbert Grape counts as a penis reference.
I finally understand the phrase “burying the lede”
Because I want to bury my lede in Charlize.
And Paz de la Huerta is in CHR as well.
See my dick comment above.
The Vergara tit-shake at :40 is all that matters.
There’s a lotta dong-gazing going on in here, you feelin ok Morton?
Did you eat too much Weinerschitzel last night or something?
Did you see F/assbender using a hula-hoop at the beach and accidentally hypnotize yourself? You’re in a safe place now, you can tell us…
Jeez Morton, how many movies have you seen that feature people as fisheries experts?
I saw Casa De Mi Padre in theaters and despite having some hazy memories in regards to parts of it, the parts I do remember were predictably insane and I thought it was pretty funny. There’s a good amount of strange cameos, too. I’ll definitely be getting it
I guess it doesn’t count because there aren’t any dicks in it and it’s not a film, but season four of Breaking Bad just went up for streaming if it means anything.
It was until college that I realized Jackie Mason *wasn’t* one of the voices in the Ant & Aardvark cartoon.
Wow, Documenting The Grey Man look pathetic! The Hidden rage trailer just remind how fucked in the head christians, damn propaganda trash. Friends with kids look horrible, and same level as grown ups, but with better chicks in it though.
Most promising movie Girls Gone Dead!