If you haven't already, do a google image search on 'demi moore bush'. NSFW, obviously.
Miley Cyrus, Katherine Heigl, and Brooke Hogan. I’m so very sorry.
The headline pretty much sums this week up. I don’t know if the movie studios think everyone’s outside playing sports or watching the Olympics, or going to see The Dark Knight Rises again, or what. LOL, which was barely released, is easily the highest-profile film this week. Things aren’t all bad, however. There are a few possibly interesting new flicks, just probably nothing you’ve heard of before. Besides LOL‘s Cyrus and Moore, there’s flicks with Katherine Heigl, and Brooke Hogan (obviously), and there’s also a movie co-starring Dane Cook. Oh, f*ck it, let’s just get on with it.
The DVDs:
LOL
Zyzzyx Road
Detention
ATM
4.3.2.1
Sand Sharks
We The Party
Cole Younger And The Black Train
Hijacked
Last Days Here
The Understudy
Scalene
Fortress
Heaven Strewn
The Whisperer In Darkness
The Bunny Game
Nobody’s going to blame you if you just click here for the Netflix suggestions, but a few of these movies look like they just might be watchable, and the only way to know which ones they are is to keep reading on the next page.
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Wolverine-Tripod-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Morgan-Freeman-last-vegas-150x150.jpg)
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Tomorrow-Youre-Gone-150x150.jpg)
So ATM isn’t about 3 people trapped in a vestibule performing @$$ To Mouth?
Ever see the HPL society’s adaptation of The Call of Cthulhu? For something uber-low budget it’s not bad, and is similarly shot in B&W.
I’ve had Zyzzyx Road on dvd since around 07. I saw it a year ago or so… Lowest-grossing film of all time.. No wonder it sucked!
How did I not know that Heigl starred in the lowest grossing film of all time?
Whatever the reason, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I used to love Roswell.
That was before I knew better.
Didn’t The Raid (Redemption) come out this week?
August 14th
I’m always disappointed that his netflix suggestions feature people from the new dvds, if only because we miss out on all the awesome foreign movies that exist on there.
La Soga (Dominican bounty hunter), Dog Eat Dog, I Saw the Devil (wherein a serial killer and a spy try to out crazy each other), Little Big Soldier (Jackie Chan being Jackie Chan), and the supremely awesome War of the Arrows (if Behind Enemy Lines and Enemy at the Gates had a Korean baby that shot people with arrows and didn’t have Owen Wilson in it).
By all means, throw out more suggestions. I just need to use some self-imposed rule for limiting the suggestions to a reasonable number; most weeks I choose ‘movies with the same actors’.
You can always try Netflix movies that are similar to the DVD releases, either as a better or worse comparison. I’ve got nothing for this week though, if only because Satan decided to take this week as a sacrifice to fuel his creation of that new Katherine Heigel.
I did a Google image search for ‘demi moore bush’ and this is what I got? I call shenanigans.
[i.huffpost.com]
Good lord Morton. Looking at this list… you’re like a movie masochist. Whatever Vince is paying you to watch these, its not enough.
Oh I don’t watch this shit. I watch the trailers, sure, but that’s usually it.
For a second there I was genuinely concerned for your sanity.
My Netflix Instant picks: Captain America, The Immortals, Once Upon A Time in the West, Conan the Destroyer, Super Fly
There are some great foreign stuff on Netflix Instant too if you’re feeling adventurous: Chaser, The Host, I Saw The Devil, and for you kung fu fans you must watch Ip Man & Ip Man 2. Those are two masterpieces of action from Donnie Yen and will def warm you up for The Raid.
Sure ATM is full of completely nonsensical actions from its grating characters, as well as ridiculous plot conveniences, but it’s all in order to set up an ending that is in no way satisfying!
Having spent some bad time on Zyzyzx Rd. myself I have to ask, can they spell anything right?
But a thousand misplaced zeds couldn’t keep me away from this.
“In conclusion, I want Michael Madsen and Zyzzyx Road’s Tom Sizemore to team-up for a movie together. Perhaps a re-make of Face/Off.”
*Points to the screen and yells YES!!!!*
I just watched Scalene and, if you can make it through a very depressing, boring, kinda annoying 65-70 minutes, you will witness a decision so stupid and unnecessary, but awesomely drawn out in it’s execution, that rivals someone giving up individual immunity on Survivor. It is so crazy. If the Tom Waits as Joker interview was a 8-9 on the mind blown scale, this is easily a strong 7. It’s like all the “What the fuck are you doing???” horror movie moments you’ve had combined and assaulted you for several minutes. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Not because of any kind of graphic nature. Just based on everything that led up to that moment and the character’s decision to play it out like they did. It’s a scene that makes up for all the otherness of the movie. Some might like the whole film, I didn’t, but I’m glad I saw what I did. Nothing will surprise me for week. Solid. Or maybe I just need to watch more movies featuring rape and mental disability.
Well, you’ve sold me on curiosity alone.
Winning Season. He certainly does dance. And he’s in a funny costume when he does it. I really enjoyed it.
That lol movie made 8 mil at the box office according to wiki. Why do you lie?
First off, you’re confusing ignorance of the facts with willful dishonesty. For example, I don’t think you’re lying; I think you may just be confused.
Things about which you are possibly confused:
1. I am not Vince, who wrote the original post (to which I linked) that provided the box office numbers. If anyone is lying, it is him.
2. Vince is not lying. The figures listed in this post (as well as his original post) are accurate. For domestic box office, LOL only made $46,500. The $8 million is total for all markets, foreign and domestic.
3. Wikipedia, while useful, is not a reliable resource for any information. That’s why, whenever you get info from wikipedia, you make sure to say so. As you did. While wikipedia may in fact have accurate information, it would be wholly inappropriate to accuse someone of lying just because they disagree with some ‘fact’ from wikipedia.
4. You think I give a fuck what you say about a Miley Cyrus movie, let alone five days after the post went up.
I’m sorry, you just seem like an awful person, can I see the movie you acted in or directed?
Why am I an awful person? Is just because I don’t think LOL looks good and found its failure funny?
As for my films, what does that have to do with my status as an awful person? Are you implying that nobody who works as a director or actor is an awful person? Mel Gibson, Roman Polanski, and Miley Cyrus are all awful people.