Ron Howard and the writer of The Motorcycle Diaries are teaming up to create a show for Showtime about the Aztec civilization, and I think it goes without saying that this is amazing news, because the only way you could make a blood, guts, and tit-filled period piece on premium cable better is by adding HUMAN SACRIFICE! (*cranks up Slayer, harmonic guitar squeal, kicks cat out window*)

Showtime has put in development Conquest, a sweeping period drama that has been a passion project of Imagine principal Ron Howard. Oscar-winner Howard is attached to direct Conquest, which will be written by Oscar-nominated scribe Jose Rivera (The Motorcycle Diaries). Conquest, from Imagine TV and 20th Century Fox TV’s cable division Fox21, tells the story of famed Spanish Conquistador Hernán Cortes, who led the Spanish conquest in Mexico, and his clash with Moctezuma II, the last ruler of the Aztec Empire, which fell at the hands of Cortes and his men.

Filled with blood, lust, gold, magic and mythology, Conquest is described as “a classic war story about two powerful men and their people ultimately leading to the destruction of the Aztec culture and the men themselves.” [Deadline]

OH HELL YES. This sound aweso– wait, did you say “magic?” Why did you say magic? God dammit. Someone needs to put their foot down and tell these Hollywood producers NO MAGIC. Can’t we just enjoy a little historical drama anymore? I already had Jerry Bruckheimer turn cannon-fighting pirates into a story about dancing skeletons and a talking monkey, the last thing we need is Ron Howard turning Aztecs into a story about buried treasure and the fountain of youth. If I wanted magical thinking, I’d watch the History channel in the hours between the ten shows about people buying junk for a living.