It’s unfortunate that so much hocus pocus and magical gypsy thinking gets lumped in with legitimate progressivism, but if I had to explain why, it’s probably because so many outspoken “progressives” without college educations in LA love sitting around movie sets loudly not knowing what the f*ck they’re talking about. I mention it because those people are giving a bad name to people like Nobel Scientist Robert Fitzsimmons Elderberry Schneider, Esq, who recently compared vaccines to “The Nuremberg Laws.”
Speaking to 
“My wife is 5 months pregnant, and I’m for parent’s rights, not government coercion to tell us what we can and can’t do with our kids. There is no other mandated procedure. It’s illegal. You can’t make people do procedures that they don’t want. The parents have to be the ones who make the decisions for what’s best for our kids. It can’t be the government saying that. It’s against the Nuremberg Laws.”
The Nuremberg Laws famously clarified that anyone with three or more Jewish grandparents was considered a Jew, and anyone with four German grandparents was considered a German, and everything in between was a crossbreed, and they outlawed inter-marriage and kept Jews from participating in civic life, so I think we can all agree that Rob Schneider has made some salient points here.
“The doctors are not gonna tell you both sides of the issue… they’re told by the pharmaceutical industry, which makes billions of dollars, that it’s completely safe.”
“The efficacy of these shots have not been proven,” he later continued. “And the toxicity of these things — we’re having more and more side effects. We’re having more and more autism.”
Serious question for Rob: Did you actually read about any of this (both the law itself and the imaginary link between vaccines and autism) before you flew up to Sacramento and gave a big speech to the local news, or did you just hear about it from your dipsh*t buddies at the Whole Foods?
Parental choice is paramount, so maybe you can choose to send your kids to some magical private school free of vaccinations with a giant bubble over it to keep from spreading big pharma myths like “measles” to all the autistics at the poor kid schools. And instead of books and science, they can just roll around in the dirt and rub their dreadlocks on each other like Avatar. In fact, the more I think about it, the more this is seeming like a great idea.
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The link between vaccines and autism has to be made up, because autism itself is as fake as seasonal affective disorder and fibromyalgia.
Fibromyalgia?? Fibroyouralgia!!!
I saw him perform standup in Richmond, VA on Saturday night. He isn’t as un-funny as you would assume he would be doing standup. Its also really fun to hear everyone heckle him by saying “you can do it!” But now that I see he said this, I consider him to be borderline retarded
When it comes to discussing mandates, who are we to question a male gigolo?
It doesn’t really matter for him either way, because I’m pretty sure his retard gene will pass to that child either way.
Yeah, I was gonna say.
Rob Schneider’s kids are fucked either way.
“they’re told by the pharmaceutical industry, which makes billions of dollars, that it’s completely safe”
No they’re fucking not. Only goddamn morons think anybody in healthcare thinks any fucking thing is “completely safe”. It’s a numbers game. A deadly allergic reaction to a vaccine is far, far less likely than dying of a preventable disease when not enough people vaccinate to keep herd immunity intact. And a lack of herd immunity kills infants and anyone else who can’t take a vaccine but would like to if they had the choice.
“The efficacy of these shots have not been proven”
GAAAAH, SHUT THE FUCK UP, MEXICAN ELVIS.
EXACTLY. It’s not just about you and your special snowflake kids. And jackasses who act like they know more than medical professionals are the WORST. THE WORST.
Here’s hoping this is some good Weekly Weird Watch bait…
Just what we need.. The Richmeister and Boobs McCarthy having opinions.
The vaccinator! Vacca-racca-ding-ding! Making the world susceptible to rubelllllaaa!
Still no cure for stupid. What the fuck, science?
Now, that’s not true. I have a .45 caliber lead jacketed cure for stupid.
Isn’t the jacket actually brass?
You can’t teach height.
I support dumb leftists who oppose vaccinations the same way I support dumb rightists who leave firearms lying around the house. Thinning the stupid kid herd is all that stands between us and idiocracy.
Oh, maybe Rob and ol’ Tom ” I Know the History of Psychology” Cruise would like to start their own fucking medical school where they can espouse their own fucking stupid beliefs that have been proven time and time again to be fucking bullshit and OHMYGOD I HATE PEOPLE LIKE THIS SOMEBODY HOLD MY EARRINGS.
::rushes over to Patty’s to hold earrings, trips over ottoman, becomes autistic::
HURRR THE VACKSEEN DID IT!11
I’m just gonna leave this here:
[www.iom.edu]
Hint: It’s not about autism.
Did you forget to blockquote the part where “news anchor punches him in the sac”?
No? Figures.
What a strange coincidence. I was just writing tomorrow’s DVD post and included a bit about idiot celebrities and vaccines causing autism. Tune in tomorrow to find out what I had to say.
Who knew the man who based his career on Deuce Bigalow and The Animal would turn out to not be the brightest guy?
“…it’s probably because so many outspoken “progressives” without college educations in LA love sitting around movie sets loudly not knowing what the f*ck they’re talking about.” If only they had a BA in Communications this wouldn’t be an problem.
Or “a problem.” Oh boy.
It’s OK, like all of us with techincal degrees, you can’t spell.
Choosing between vaccination and Rob Schneider, I’d have to say Schneider is the more dangerous prick.
I knew I could count on you.
If you’re Rob Schneider and your kid turns up autistic it might not be due to big pharma immuno vaccinazis. It might be because you’ve been snorting your coke off of Sandler’s dick for the past 20 years and you’ve developed into a self-sustaining genetic cesspool.
Or yes, maybe the big bad Pfizers of the world have a vendetta against your dumbsh*t kid.
There just has to be an easier way to get into Jenny McCarthy’s pants than this.
Sure Rob, let’s bring back polio, life isn’t enough of a crap shoot. Do you feel lucky, punk?
*looks at IMDB, understands completely*
If I were Rob Schneider, I’d validate all my beliefs with, “trust me bro. I was in Surf Ninjas.”
I love you guys (no homo), but you’re actually making Rob Schneider (ROB SCHNEIDER!) look informed. Vaccines are great, and all, but they’re not magic, and they are not a cost-free good. This may sound crazy, but there’s actually some difference of opinion in the scientific community about the safety and efficacy of vaccines. I know, weird, right?
[www.vaccinationcouncil.org]
You’re glib
Hi, have you met my friend the Nigerian Prince? He has quite an offer for you
So… we should be AGAINST people having to discuss vaccines with their doctors before they refuse them?
Vince, I think if the parents are considering NOT having their kids vaccinated that the proverbial boat has already sailed. Talking to a Doctor probably won’t change their minds.
I concede that there might (MIGHT) be some some valid points to be made about not vaccinating for certain things, but I can’t respect someone whose opinion is basically “DON’T LISTEN TO THE DOCTORS, THEY’RE ALL TOOLS OF BIG PHARMA!” and compares having to sign a waiver to the fucking Nuremberg Laws.
195,000 medical error deaths in the U.S last year… but you know what?
I get stabbed I’m heading to the hospital not the fucking Ellen DeGeneres show.
You’re linking to the site of an anti-vaccine group run by a guy with a BA in business administration and Spanish to try to prove your point?
Good donkey…
Everyone should be afraid that the first time they’re caught spacing out while in public, they’re going to be labeled as Austistic and thrown into a looney bin.
to be fair, they’re not really his kids. they’re adam sandler’s.. he was just in the back, playing a whacky assistant.
I never thought I’d say this but I think Katie Holmes is right.
Dammit! Schneider is on to us. Back to the drawing board.
*erases white board detailing plans to assassinate the Happy Madison gang and their progeny.
This is what happens when you let a stapler talk.
I’ve always thought parents should have the liberty to use their children to incubate infectious diseases. If I want my kid to be patient zero in a smallpox epidemic, then goddammit, that’s my right.
I find the fact that “The Richmeister” found a woman that would marry him, let alone allow him to impregnate her, to be as believable as his logic on vaccinations.
Have you seen her? Illogical does not begin to describe it.
Although my child has all of her immunization shots, where I live in West Somoma County there are some schools that have up to 76 percent of the students who have obtained waivers to not be vaccinated. Considering the failure rate of vaccines is about 5 percent, without herd immunity when preventable communicable deseases sweep through the poulation I can’t be guaranteed that my daughter won’t be infected.
It is infuriating that the reseacher who claimed to have found a link between vaccines and autism turned out to be a fraud. Dr Andrew Wakefield, who authored the 1998 study that most of the anti-vaccine crusaders cited, turned out to be a paid legal advisor to the 12 children in his study. Google “autism vaccine debunked” and read one of the many articles about the scandle.
Right-wingers would simply dress up as Minutemen and blame Obamacare or gay marriage and call it a day.
Haha, “legitimate progressivism.”
“Now i’m about to administer your vaccine Mr Schneider, so you might feel a little prick”
“So what’s new?”
“It’s against the Nuremberg Laws.”
Isn’t that something you would want? He says that like it’s a bad thing. Or has my English comprehension been immunized?
Yeah, that’s what tripped me up too. It sounds like he says being against the Nuremburg Laws is a bad thing.
Apparently the Nuremburg Laws is one more thing that he knows nothing about, but acts like he is an authority on the subject.
Think before you speak! Come on, you can do it! Protect your kid from the mumps!
The annoying thing is that the choice not to vaccinate your dumb wiener kids does not just affect your dumb wiener kids. There are people with children with cancer and other immune-compromising illnesses that can’t send their kids to daycare or school without worrying their child might die because a bunch of ill-informed parents won’t get their kids vaccinated.
Look, vaccines aren’t perfect, but they don’t cause autism. They have, however, nearly wiped out a number of diseases (smallpox, polio, measles, diptheria) in first world countries. But I guess that one “study” that has been disproved as having completely fabricated results is totally more trustworthy than actual science.
Ugh, I hate everyone.
C’mon Rob, think of the common good and get your kid vaccinated.
Worst case scenario: The kid’s guaranteed a career doing inventory at a toothpick factory.
Stupid people really annoy me. The vaccination debate is such a “first world” problem. Go ask all of the children in third world countries if they want to listen to some dipshit celebrity about the limited healthcare they have available. Another non-problem that makes the media rounds about once a year is the use of chlorine in drinking water. There is no evidence that is harms people, but some butt hurt vegan will get on camera and talk about the dangers of ingesting chemicals. Sure. Just stop all forms of disinfection and preventative medicine. That makes sense. I’m sure that we all want to die from easily preventable diseases. I once played Oregon Trail. I know when Cholera has me beat
So in summation…vaccines make you more like one of the kids in The Benchwarmers?
But vaccination IS how we got rid of smallpox and managed to have 7 billion people on the planet. And what about him proving Godwin’s law, isn’t that an even bigger crime?!
Did Rob just use ‘autism’ as an adjective?
I’m just throwing this out there but…if vaccines cause autism then why was autism around before vaccinations? doesn’t make sense imo
as for DK’s statement that fibromyalgia and seasonal affective disorder don’t exist…are you Rob’s brother or something? in my experience, a guy with a king can of beer who looks like a wannabe thug is probably not a medical expert but he does usually live with his mom