The bad news for Twilight fans continues today, as scientists have discovered that not only might your cat try to kill you for naming it Renesmee, breathing in its feces has been linked to higher rates of suicide.

(*sigh*) I guess this is goodbye, old friend. (*throws cat-poop jenkum balloon in dumpster*)

Scientists suspect link between cat feces, female suicide
Women infected with a parasite spread by cat feces run a higher risk of attempting suicide, suggests a study of more than 45,000 women in Denmark published in a scientific journal this week.
“We can’t say with certainty that T. gondii caused the women to try to kill themselves,” said Teodor Postolache of the University of Maryland medical school, senior author of the study in the Archives of General Psychiatry.
“But we did find a predictive association between the infection and suicide attempts later in life that warrants additional studies. We plan to continue our research into this possible connection.”
About one in three people in the world are believed to be infected with T. gondii, which has been linked to schizophrenia and behavior changes, but often produces no symptoms as it lurks in brain and muscle cells.
Human run the risk of infection when they clean out their cats’ litter boxes, as well as by consuming unwashed vegetables, undercooked or raw meat, or water from a contaminated source.
“The study found that women infected with T. gondii were one-and-a-half times more likely to attempt suicide compared to those who were not infected, and the risk seemed to rise with increasing levels of the T. gondii antibodies,” a summary of the findings said. [AP]

“Wait, so you only get it from emptying the litter box and eating vegetables? Phew,” said a hoarding Twilight fan, noisily wheezing a sigh of relief.