"Oi, cunt, so it's a biffo yer aftah? Roighto. Bill, hold me sandwich."

Yup. Clive Barker, who directed Hellraiser and probably some other stuff too, has come on to write Zombies vs. Gladiators for the newly-created Amazon studios. No word on whether the script will be scrawled on bar napkins, like the pitch, but I imagine if it gets finished at all, it will be covered in cocaine.

The studio, part of Amazon.com, is planning a film in which a shaman about to die in the Coliseum casts a spell that rouses history’s first wave of zombies. It’s up to a gladiator to stop the spread of the zombie horde and save Rome.
The division launched in November 2010 with a strategy that uses audience feedback and submissions to develop movie ideas. That led to the submission of 9000 film scripts and 1000 series pilot scripts. [Deadline]

“‘Zombies vs. Gladiators’ is now in the hands of someone who has written genre-defining material throughout his career,” Roy Price, director of Amazon Studios, said in a statement. “We are excited to see how Clive will add his unique narrative to capture the essence of this story and propel the project into something unique and original that could one day be enjoyed by all audiences.” [Yahoo]

(*puts on giant foam cowboy hat emblazoned “Captain Obvious”*)
It’s called “Zombies vs. Gladiators.” It has about as much chance of being unique and original as it does of being tasteful and understated.

And then Merchant said to Ivory, “Dude, do you ever regret our movies not having more werewolf lesbians?” taking a long drag from his pipe.