As I was writing this, “Pitch Perfect” was the number three trending topic on Twitter, and since it didn’t seem to have anything to do with Justin Bieber or hash-tagged racist slang or #YouKnowYoSistaBeGhettoIf, I figured I’d find out what that was. Turns out Pitch Perfect is a new movie starring Anna Kendrick, about competitive college choir. It’s like someone combined Glee, Bring It On, Legally Blonde, and You Got Served into my very own singing, dancing, rec-center-saving, jukebox nightmare. But even though half the trailer consists of jokes about a fat girl loving food, hating exercise, being horny, etc. (you know, fat people stuff!), it does feature co-starring turns from both Adam DeVine from Workaholics and Chris Mintz-Plasse, so… okay, I’m still probably not going to see a movie about a capella groups, but I thought I’d mention it anyway.

I guess I’m just jealous that I spent five years at college and no one ever saw me absent-mindedly displaying a talent that made them demand I join their plucky team of miscreants. I love plucky miscreants! “Join the hip-thrusting team? Oh but I couldn’t! I spend all my time volunteering with legless orphans. Plus you should know, I haven’t thrusted competitively since pop’s funeral.”