
You guys can have your summer comic book movies where buff guys in tights rub their codpieces on each other and reverse the polarity, the movie I’m most excited for is The Master, Paul Thomas Anderson’s possibly-about-Scientology-but-let’s-say-it’s-not-so-we-don’t-get-sued epic set to open in October. In this just-released clip, Joaquin Phoenix’s troubled-drifter harelip character meets with Philip Seymour Hoffman, who might be based on L. Ron Hubbard, but only loosely enough to avoid a lawsuit.
Joaquin’s character asks Hoffman (Lancaster Doddd) “what do you do?” To which he replies:
“I am a writer, a doctor, a nucular physicist, a theoretical philosopher, but above all, I am a man. A hopelessly inquisitive man, just like you.”
They let people who pronounce it “nuke-ya-ler” become physicists? Or does he mean “physicist” in the same sense that an e-meter is “scientific?” I guess we’ll have to watch the movie to find out. I like that the marketing so far is intriguing, but still leaves a bit of mystery, unlike these bike shorts I’m wearing.
Here’s the first teaser from a while back:
[via ToH]



Awww crap, the thetans made a mess in my trousers
Au contraire, those bike shorts do lovely things for the imagination.
Is this a Sho’nuff biopic?
Not enough cowbell.
Whoa, this seems to be telling an inferior Hubbard story (compared to the one about his relationship with Jack Parsons).
Uh, dick joke , carry on…
The story of Elron Hubbert.
I drink your milkshake
Meanwhile, Peter Berg is doing principal shooting on his next game-to-movie masterpiece, “Thumb Master.”
PSH: Yea I uh, uh, you know I think I want to try doing this different because I uh, think thi….this is going to look better. I mean in my professional opinion it, uh, it will really help>
PTA: FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING AMATEUR CUNT. YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT ACTING. YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT, AND YOU KNOW NOTHING OF ETYMOLOGY! YOU MUST HAVE FAILED MISERABLY AS A CHILD TO PERFORM LIKE THIS. GO EAT A WARM FUCKING EGG IN THE FUCKING SUN!
It sucks that they put all the exciting action scenes and funniest jokes in the trailers.
I seriously cannot wait for this movie and the epic shitstorm that will accompany it.
About a minute into the new trailer, when he’s walking towards the camera outside the bus station, Joaquin looks about 60 years old. Impressive results from just a scowl, baggy clothes and hiking your pants up to your chin. Prometheus could’ve saved a lot of money on Guy Pearce’s makeup.
Can’t wait for this. October 12th. Mark it down.
No, no, no, no, no – it’s about a Science Tool Orgy – totally different.
Considering how much you talk about MMA stuff, complaining about tights and the rubbing of codpieces seems a little hypocritical.
Not kinda-sort-based-on-Scientology-but-not enough apparently. The trailer’s been removed!
Okay, calm down Riggz. You’ll catch the next one… don’t freak out.
Boy, I really worked myself up there… what’s that? Well, yeah… maybe I do need a Stress Test. Thanks Agent Tadsworth!
Holy shit. Joaquin Phoenix is a good actor?
*sings*
Meet Tom “Hates-Thetans”, his boy L. Ron! Daughter Suri, Katie his “wife”…
I am fucking PUMPED for this movie. Juaguin is a fucking good actor (albeit crazy) and PTA knows how to pull out great performances. It will be awesome.