
As Jules Winfield famously described his Ezekiel 25:17 speech in Pulp Fiction, “I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was some cold-blooded sh*t to say to a motherf*cker before I popped a cap in his ass.”
Of course, saying cold-blooded sh*t to a motherf*cker before you pop a cap in his ass is something of an action-movie trope. And for good reason: it’s awesome. YouTuber ziccup has compiled a supercut of just such moments (“the pre-mortem one-liner,” as he/she describes it), as delivered by the best one-line deliverers Arnold, Clint Eastwood, Bruce Willis, Harrison Ford, etc. I could watch this all day.
Worst: Nic Cage in The Rock. “I only bring it up because… it’s you. You’re the rocket man.”
For one thing, the prose is kind of tortured. Succinctness is key in a pre-mortem one-liner, and that’s not really Nic Cage’s strong suit. For another… referencing Elton John? Come on. Though I admit, it’d be pretty boss if Mola Ram had said something about Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” right before he ripped that dude’s heart out in Temple of Doom.
Surprisingly Good: Air Force One isn’t very good, but “GET OFF MY PLANE!” is a surprisingly-memorable line.
Criminally Overlooked: If I remember correctly, “…it’s just been revoked” from Lethal Weapon 2 is disqualified on account of being right AFTER Danny Glover shoots the South African guy in the head, which is unfortunate, because I was totally waiting for that, but there are at least three awesome lines from Commando that should’ve gone in here. “Remember when I said I’d kill you last?” “Bennett, let off a little steam.” etc. Really, you could make three of these using only Arnold.
[via GorillaMask]



What, no, “Surprise cock-fag!”?
Honorable Mention: “Know what happens when a toad is struck by lightening? The same thing that happens to everything else.”
Oh God, I remember that. That was awful.
That is seriously one of the worst lines of dialog uttered on film.
And oddly enough the only Joss Whedon line of dialogue that survived the script rewrites.
Trust Halle Berry to anally rape a Joss Whedon line.
The Commando line is “Let off some steam, Bennett,” and it happens after Arnold kills him.
I sure hope somebody got fired for that blunder.
Has anyone done a supercut of self-post-mortems? You know “Famous Last Words”?
“What’s that… smell?”, “Rollo Tomasi”, “They were all perfect” etc.
Did you not stick around to the end? The “kill you last” line was the finale.
Always thought Last Action Hero’s “You wanna be a farmer? well here’s a couple of acres” right before a nut kick launch was exceptional.
And also The Last Boy Scouts “Yes, officer. As a matter of fact there is a problem. Apparently there are too many bullets in this gun.”. that movie is totally underrated as well.
Like say you hit a guy with a surfboard, you gotta say, “Surf’s up pal!”
Jesus, what about Robocops “Can you fly Bobby?”
That or the old man’s line at the end, “Dick…you’re FIRED!”
Leaving out, “You forgot your boarding pass”, from Bad Boys is probably the most offensive to me.
What about Sling Blade?
What’cha doin with that lawn mower blade, Karl?
I aim to kill you with it….. MMMmm Hmmm.
Another great one from Army of Darkness.
Yo she-bitch, let’s go.
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You’re one ugly motherfucker?
“Hey mousey, say ‘cheese!’”
Darkman is full of these.
I forgot about that “anara!” line from Con Air. Christ, that was awful. “Why couldn’t you put the bunny back in the box?” would be a good post-mortem.
Wait, wait. . . you’re saying a Bruckheimer film was AWFUL? Shocked, I am.
Don’t forget the follow up line: “I let him go.”
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The most bad-ass pre-mortem one liner is “Sue me, dickhead”, from Total Recall. Arnold just walked away, and itmade Johnnycab commit suicide.
I smell a part II soon
Jaws: “Smile you son of a bitch!”
I’m a little biased, but my favorite mortem line is:
Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now you stupid fucking bastard!
“I am no man!” will always be the worst. “Has penis” isn’t what they meant by “man”, lady.
I guess “Get Away from her you BITCH!” didn’t count because it was at the start of the fight?
Someone at Warner dropped the ball. How could no one see that Bruce Campbell was the perfect Superman? The minute Christopher Reeve got a feeding tube inserted I would have been on the phone with Sam Raimi.
The one I was waiting for that was overlooked: “How do you like your ribs?” from Action Jackson!