As if being produced by Jerry Bruckheimer didn’t already guarantee a complete and utter clusterf*ck, there have been rumors going around almost since the beginning about what a complete and utter clusterf*ck the development of The Lone Ranger was. Back in August, there was word that the film would need to gross $800 million worldwide to turn a profit (and that was with a $220 million budget). That was even after the werewolves had been taken out. Yep, frickin’ werewolves. Bruckheimer and director Gore Verbinski reportedly trimmed the budget down to a modest $215 million back in October after Disney threatened to shut it down, but now The Hollywood Reporter says it has ballooned back up to $250 million.

Several sources say the effects-heavy Lone Ranger is now back at its original cost of $250 million, while one source close to the production says it has surpassed that figure.
“It’s up to a number they didn’t want,” says one insider.
Verbinski is again being asked to cut scenes — he already made such sacrifices as losing a major train sequence in the first round of trims — and rewrites are underway, according to a source.

Trains, always with the f*ckin’ trains. Half this article is about trains. This guy’s as bad as Tony Scott. I just like the idea of a bunch of suits sitting around a conference table going, “Trains? Well of course. You can’t have a Lone Ranger movie without werewolves and trains.”

Period trains are a huge element in the movie, say sources, and Verbinski opted for the production to construct its own locomotives from scratch rather than employ existing railroad vehicles.

Well look, when you make a movie about Johnny Depp making funny faces at stuff, you gotta have stuff for him to make funny faces at. It’s filmmaking 101.

The film is not expected to finish shooting until August, which still gives it plenty of time to meet its July 3, 2013, release date. And the buzz generated by some who have seen footage say Verbinski has a chance to do for Westerns what he did for pirate movies

Fill them full of dancing skeletons, talking monkeys, and other hacky bullsh*t aimed at six-year-olds?

– make the genre popular internationally.

Oh, right. Why is it the crappiest movies make the biggest percentages of their gross overseas? Battleship – 79.5 percent. Men in Black 3? 72 percent.  Dark Shadows – 63 percent. Wrath of the Titans? 72 percent. The Avengers is a huge blockbuster and it’s only 58 percent. “Popular internationally” is practically synonymous with “watered-down and crappy.”

“It’s out of control,” says one insider of the spending, “but if you were going to bet on anyone, it would be on Gore, Johnny and Jerry.”

Well sure, it’s Johnny Depp wearing a bird hat. He’s part Native American, you know. It’s all very traditional.

So anyway, what do you guys think is a better porn parody title: The Bone Ranger or The Blown Ranger? Discuss.