I vowed after I wrote a post about how I didn’t know there was a version of Batman with a female Robin – that outraged people because they completely misread it to hilarious results – that I wasn’t going to write another post about comic books being turned into movies again. The lone exception, I swore to myself, would be anything involving Marvel’s The Avengers sequel rumors, because, as I have squealed with nerdish delight over already, I would stab a kitten for an Infinity Gauntlet movie.
Well, someone sharpen my knives, because we’re heading in the right direction. According to /Film…
Marvel Studios was caught purchasing domain names for all kinds of merchandise related to Guardians of the Galaxy, a property that everyone from Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige all the way down has admitted was in the works. They’ve even admitted the credits scene of The Avengers was a tease towards that film but nothing had been made official. That will, likely, be the company line until San Diego Comic-Con but Latino Review is exclusively reporting that Guardians of the Galaxy will, in fact, be Marvel’s second 2014 movie.
And it is believed that Guardians of the Galaxy will be its own film in 2014, before the Avengers sequel hits theaters. Obviously, though, with what we learned in the after credits of Avengers, Guardians will be a set-up film for the sequel, as they’ll definitely be involved.
Now, before you start waving your nit-pickity gauntlets in the air, I know that the Guardians of the Galaxy and the Infinity Gauntlet don’t exactly go hand-in-hand. But I want them to so badly that I’m going to just start speculating wildly about what this could mean.
(And yes, there’s a chance I could get some details wrong, because I’m pulling most of this from a hazy teenage pothead memory, so chill with the fanboy outrage or I will cyber slap you in the nuts.)
Idea 1) The Guardians were first introduced in the 1960s, as they teamed up with the Avengers to stop an alien race from conquering the galaxy. From what we saw in the Avengers film, that sounds about right. But those old Guardians – led by Major Vance Astro (GUH!) – were lame. So let’s go with the modern Guardians that were re-introduced in the “Annihilation: Conquest” series. Either way, these dudes and dudettes are like the super space police, and they’re trying to stop the titan Thanos from doing his wicked bad thing. And as we saw – and if you haven’t seen the film yet, well, sucks for you – Thanos makes an appearance at the end of Avengers. He’s obviously up to something and our puny mortal heroes and Thor will need some big time help to stop him, hence the Guardians. It could be just a simple case of “Hey, we’re Bug, Major Victory, Rocket Raccoon, and others and we’re here to save your asses.” That would be fine.
Idea 2) With Thanos involved, I’m betting that Marvel and Joss Whedon go with “The Thanos Imperative” as the backbone. This storyline dealt with Thanos as the avatar of death trying to destroy Mar Vell (seriously, who names these guys?) to, you guessed it, conquer the universe. Led by Adam Warlock – who should get a movie if he’s not already – and a whole bunch of characters you’ve never heard of, the Guardians stop Thanos while a ton of people die. This would also be fine. Sad, but fine.
But those are both boring, so let’s go with…
Idea 3) Look at Christopher Nolan’s Batman films. They all borrow bits and pieces from various Batman comic series. Let’s do that with the Guardians and Avengers 2. Obviously Thanos wants to conquer the universe, so let’s have him in search of the Infinity Gauntlet to do so. Put it on Earth somewhere. Or in Asgard. Wherever. And someone important knows where it is, so Thanos enlists Loki, the Red Skull, and whoever the bad guy is in Iron Man 3 to shake people down for info. Bing bang boom, a huge war ensues, millions of people and aliens die in the process, and the Avengers and Guardians kick Thanos’ ass.
And here’s why I know that Marvel will go with Idea 3 – because every super hero and his mother was in the Infinity Gauntlet series. It was the most epic crossover nerd wet dream of its kind, and that translates to MONEY. Yeah, I know that different studios own different characters’ rights, but they can figure that all out. Until Sony Pictures makes me the VP of Making Movies Better, I’m not giving away advice for free.
But look at me. I’m a huge studly jock and here I am gushing over a comic book. Whatever. Time to do some push-ups and make out with my babe.