
Back in 2008, I was forced to cover rumors of an impending Justice League movie almost every goddamned day, even though it was obvious it wasn’t going to happen. The project rightly died, but now that Marvel’s The Avengers is about to become one of the top two or three-grossing movies of all time, DC, Marvel’s uncool older brother, wants a piece of that sweet sweet superhero supergroup-movie action. “Hey! Our team of superheroes has an unnecessary bow-and-arrow guy too!” they’re probably shouting.
This is all your fault, Joss Whedon, you gigantic-headed son of a bitch.
While Disney and Marvel were busy shooting “The Avengers” last year, Warner Brothers quietly began getting its own all-star superhero pic back on track, tapping “Gangster Squad” scribe Will Beall to write “Justice League,” based on the WB-controlled stable of DC Comics superheroes.
Warner Bros. had no comment on the top-secret hire, which, due to its timing, was more in anticipation of — rather than a reaction to — the box office success of “The Avengers.”
Beall has yet to turn in his “Justice League” script, though he has become a favorite scribe of Warners. He’s writing the studio’s “Lethal Weapon” reboot and its remake of “Logan’s Run,” which is expected to reteam “Gangster Squad” thesp Ryan Gosling with his “Drive” director Nicolas Winding Refn. Warners will release “Gangster Squad” on Sept. 7.
A guy the studio is hot on who’s written three movies that aren’t out yet? Well that couldn’t possibly go wrong. (*cough*) JUSTIN MARKS! (*cough, cough*).
Meanwhile, one crucial component of the Justice League team is Wonder Woman. Without her, who would make Superman’s sandwiches? Batman? That guy can’t cook for shit. Cape gets in the way. Anyway, naturally, WB is also planning a Wonder Woman movie.
DC Comics is a vital component of Warner Bros.’ intellectual property, as “Green Lantern” scribes Marc Guggenheim and Michael Green were tapped to write “The Flash” for director Greg Berlanti, while another “Green Lantern” scribe, Michael Goldenberg, was hired to write “Wonder Woman.” Additionally, Brad Peyton is working on a new draft of “Lobo,” while John Kamps and David Koepp are developing “Spy vs. Spy” as a potential directing vehicle for Ron Howard. WB also developed the “Aquaman” property several years ago. [Variety]
There were four credited screenwriters on Green Lantern (and God knows how many more uncredited ones). You think Goldenberg was the one who came up with the concept of two abstract concepts as represented by two abstract entities (green and yellow space jizz, respectively) doing battle? Because, boy, was that ever a triumph of screenwriting.Ugh, I hope I don’t have to write six more posts about this.
This is neither here nor there, but do you think Wonder Woman’s invisible plane has a toilet in it? I’m not saying I would watch her pee, but theoretically, if someone did, I imagine it would probably be VERY erotic.



“do you think Wonder Woman’s invisible plane has a toilet in it?”
Yes, yes I do.
[www.youtube.com]
K-Stew ain’t need no toilet.
…developing “Spy vs. Spy” as a potential directing vehicle for Ron Howard.
Starring Adrian Brody or I’ll eat the Green Lantern’s hat.
All I know is that the photochop is perfection with lame-sweater-ice-cream-fedor in the background.
Do not dare defame the ‘Sweater of Absolute Victory’
I wanna see the DC equivalent of Nick Fury attempt to recruit Batman.
“They say you’re the best. We’re putting a team togeth-”
“OOOOOOOOHHHHH GOOOD FER YOUUUUU!”
All I’m saying is, Gangster Squad better make it pretty damn clear whether or not the main antagonists do in fact possess nards, or there will be a fucking riot.
I have it on good authority that Wolfman’s got nards, but after that, I can’t say.
JLA movie will be totally worth it if Superman calls Batman a fuckin’ psycho.
I never got the point of the Justice League, was it just people who did jobs Superman was too fucking lazy to do? Because Superman could technically just do all the things since he’s so fucking great.
The Justice League movie only needs to be about 5 seconds long for me to be satisfied: Martian Manhunter phasing his hand through someone’s chest and ripping out their heart.
I now have a nerd boner to see the Vision show up in the Avengers 2 and do the exact same thing.
After testing poorly with focus groups, he will now simply be known as Manhunter.
After testing poorly with One Million Moms, he will then simply be known as Hunter.
The minute The Avengers ended, I just KNEW news of a Justice League movie would be reignited. And it’s going to suuuuuck.
I know that sometimes the individual movies leading to the Avengers felt like thinly veiled commercials for it, but at least these movies established the characters, and there was a legitimate build up for the big flick.
A Justice League movie will be rushed out in the next couple years, and without a proper build-up, it will either be way too long or not make any sense at all.
Plus everyone is so used to seeing the Christopher Nolan version of Batman that having him appear in a cheeky and lighthearted Justice League movie is going to look bizarre
Warner Brothers simply does not want to put in the time to make a real Justice League movie. Look at the new 52 and concepts are all over the place. And this is in the comic books! On screen it would be a mess. And probably will be.
/sad nerd rant
I’m a DC fan, but until the WB can prove that they can make a good comic movie not staring Batman I refuse to get excited.
Not to be too nerdy, but if they did a Tower of Babel JLA story, I think it would be easy enough to introduce most of the characters pretty quickly. Plus it shows that Batman is a fucking badass, because its his plans the whole time.
But having said that, they’ll probably focus on more space jizz.
I’ve never understood all the love that story arc got. It shows Batman as a terrible planner; a) his plans got stolen b) his plans included such gems as “slip the Green Lantern ring onto GL’s finger while he sleeps and make him use it against himself” when GL has specifically said what a big deal it is to him not to wear it when he is asleep, or other plans like “put Wonder Woman into a virtual reality fight and hope she doesn’t notice the rig on her head” or “kick in the door and shoot Flash, who can move at light speed, with something” or “coat the outside layer of a creature that can shapeshift with something that makes him burst into flames.”
The idea was cool, but the execution was lacking.
Frickin’ terrible,
Why do trade writers insist on using non-words like “thesp?” THAT’S THE SAME NUMBER OF LETTERS AS “ACTOR,” YOU SCHMUCKS. It takes the same amount of effort to type (maybe less, because it’s an ACTUAL WORD PEOPLE USE) and if for some reason you are required to do so, you can say it out loud without sounding like the new Green Lantern.
My wife has to read Variety, and it is as if they’re trying to create some “inside dope” language. Like that scene in “Hype” where the girl from Sub Pop played that prank on a reporter by making up words that were the “inside slang” words of the “grunge scene.” No one in Variety films a movie, they’re “lensing” a movie. Audiences are now “auds,” actors are “thesps,” performances are “perfs,” etc., etc., etc.
Variety is either having a big laugh at this as a deliberate put on, or they’ve reach a critical level douchbaggery not seen since the last time I saw that Scion driving, Ed Hardy perfume sporting (Eau de Douche), head-to-toe Affliction wearing MMA enthusiast trying to get his 3 year-old kid to “toughen up” at the playground.
Isn’t Green Lantern gay in the comic now? Wonder if Ryan Reynolds will sign on for that one.
Why the fuck would Warner Bros hire the writers of Green Lantern for anything?
It’s probably a safe bet that the new Batman/Bruce Wayne will be a hip-hop music producer/scientist/ex-Navy SEAL who fights crime out of his Malibu-based Batcave.
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Just reboot Batman again. Superman isn’t Handsome enough.
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I ain’t clicking that fucking link