
Is anyone surprised?
With Magic Mike opening today, it seems like the culmination of our decades-long love affair with Channing Tatum. It’s interesting to remember, however, that it wasn’t always this way. There was a time not too long ago when we legitimately hated the guy. Usually, the people we choose to parody with a fictionalized persona, it’s at least a little bit out of love, if not mostly – Werner Herzog, The Stath, Ryan Gosling, Terrence Howard, etc. With C-Tates, I think in both mine and Burnsy’s case – Burnsy, the guy who writes 95% of our C-Tates posts and obtains all of our critically-acclaimed, exclusive storyboards from White House Down – the initial parodies grew out of our astonishment that such a mumbly, uncharismatic jackass could continue to book so many movie roles, despite seeming to be the acting equivalent of Paul Walker’s hip hop-loving high school-dropout cousin from Florida. But somehow, as he evolved as an actor (okay, so I’ve seen him be good in one total movie so far – 21 Jump Street – but let’s call it an evolution anyway because it sounds better) and continued to do one charming interview after another, our initial dislike turned to novelty fascination, which eventually became, dare I say it, genuine affection. And it’s clear we’re not alone in this (just go with me here, I don’t feel like citing box office totals).
Obviously, it’s an impressive thing to pull off in the course of just two or three years, and there are plenty of actors who’d pay a fortune for that kind of shift in public perception if it could be bottled (can you imagine if we woke up three years from now and didn’t hate Taylor Lautner?). I’m sure there are a thousand factors involved – movie choices, types of press exposure, his knack for inspiring parody, that ever-growing glint of self-awareness in his eye – but if I had to put my finger on any one thing, I’d say it’s that he always seems like he’s happy to be there. You get the clear sense that he’s not afraid to make an ass out of himself. So if there’s a lesson in the C-Tates story, it’s to relax, remember to have a good time, and don’t take yourself too seriously (also, being good looking doesn’t hurt). So I just wanted to say, here’s to you, C-Tates. For some reason, I felt compelled to say it. Today feels like our anniversary.




As a straight dude I’m having a hard to explaining to other people (and myself) why I want to see Magic Mike. I’ve usually just been directing naysayers (a.k.a. THA H8RZ) to the Modivational McConaughey gif, but this will help, too
As my friend suggested, you can hang out outside the theater waiting for the cougars. Thanks to C-Tates doing all the prep work they’ll be ready. (And when I say “ready” I mean they’ll want sex).
I can’t stop seeing Squatting C-Tates pooping on the unexplained face in the lower right corner.
I’d take a bullet for him, son. Respek.
Don’t fret, there’s always Cam Gigandet. He’ll never be legit enough to respect.
I fink he freeky and I like him a lot.
Great, now I’ll have that gem stuck in my head for the rest of the night. Fok julle naaiers.
(Which is not to say that I don’t agree, of course.)
Yo, J Bush is what I’m huntin on when I troll for bitches outside da synagogue, my homie.
Serious question: How many actual Channing Tatum movies have any of us seen?
For me, I’ve seen a grand total of three Tatum flicks, and none of them are ‘Tatum’ flicks.
1.) War of the Worlds, in which he was uncredited as a boy in a church
2.) Havoc (the one with Anne Hathaway’s tits). Tatum played Nick. I remember nothing but the tits.
3.) Public Enemies, the only of the three films where I recognized him as being someone. His role was small, he was fine.
So it seems, for me at least, my perception and opinion of him (I don’t actively hate him, but that’s about it) has nothing to do with his actual film work. Kind of fascinating how these things actually play out.
I can only remember having seen G.I. Joe, which was at times hilariously terrible – but would have been so regardless of the male lead.
Saw him in Haywire. He actually made Gina Carano seem like a better actress by comparison. Then I saw 21 Jump Street and it was awesome.
Shame on you, I watch She’s the Man twice a week. For his Shakespearean turn.
I watched the Eagle of the Ninth again last week. Holy god, what a horrible movie. But bless his heart, he tries so hard to pull it all off.
Um…
*checks IMDB*
None? Yup. none. I haven’t seen more than 5 minutes of anything on that list.
Not sure if I should cheer or feel left out.
I’ve seen 6…War of the Worlds, She’s the Man, Step Up, Pubic Enemas, GI Joe and 21 Jump Street.
Of course, I’ve worked at a movie theatre since 2005 so it’s not like I paid for any of these. I love my job! Free C-Tates!
I never hated the guy, he phones it in a lot though. I’ve always gone back to a movie from like 2006 starring Robert Downey Jr. that nobody saw, A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints as Channing Tatum doing a great job acting. It is a good movie. Stop-Loss too.
I’ve seen too many: Coach Carter, War of the Worlds, Havoc, Battle in Seattle, Stop-Loss, Public Enemies, Guide to Saints, GI Joe, Dear John, Dilemma, The Eagle, Haywire, The Vow, 21 Jump Street.
So 15, wow. Well he has been popping up everywhere lately…
I like Step Up. I won’t lie.
I can’t believe I’m about to say this but I kind of feel exactly the same way. I totally want to bro out with C-Tates.
WHO THE FUCK AM I? I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE!!!
Tom Cruise divorce. Magic Mike opening. Coincidence?
I guess not. Read some of his tweets.
@C-Tates: Just saw Magic Mike. Nice a$$ bro. That’s some sweet man pussy.
@C-Tates: Did that sound gay? I didn’t mean for that to sound gay. Totally not gay.
That poor PA. They don’t get paid nearly enough. Running around non-stop, yelled at by everyone on set, grinded on by Channing Tatum… it’s a tough gig.
I would like to say, I’ll remember the time you said something to the effect that he was going to be starring in a movie called “The Mumbliest Wigger”. I look back on that moment the way I look back on the first time I touched a boob, or fingerblasted a girl.
I don’t think that I go too far when I say Vince and Burnsy are responsible for 38% of the Tatum swing in this country. And now I am off to go see the Tatum swing in IMAX.