
In a summer that has already seen delicious, disastrous bombs for Battleship, Adam Sandler’s latest movie, and Rock of Ages, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter grossed just $16.5 million on a $70 million budget. It seemed like something people were excited for it about three months ago, then in the last couple of weeks public opinion really turned against it. My guess is, people thought it sounded like a fun idea, then changed their minds after being bombarded with ads that didn’t make it seem all that fun (I’d like to think the amazingly terrible Abraham Linkin Park Vampire Hunter video also had an effect). But that could just be me projecting. One thing is for certain, if you really want a movie to bomb, just have me choose it in our Fantasy Summer Box Office game.

[via BoxOfficeMojo]
Elsewhere, Brave topped all other movies with almost $67 million, putting it in a dead heat with Cars 2, which opened last summer to $66.1 million. David Caruso has hopes that in the aftermath, Hollywood will finally see the value in ginger protagonists (seems doubtful). Meanwhile, Focus Features was hoping for $7 million on Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, but ended up with less than $4 million, and even worse, a C+ Cinemascore (read my review here), meaning even the people who purposely sought it out didn’t really like it that much. I didn’t hate it, but I can see why people would (I’d love to see them remake it as a movie just about Patton Oswalt going to apocalypse wine orgies). Either way, it’s time for Steve Carell to stop playing a sad sack loser who can’t get laid. He’s got a lot more range than that, and besides, we all know he loves lamp.
FANTASY SUMMER BOX OFFICE STANDINGS:
VINCE:
Dark Knight Rises
Total Recall
Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter: 16.5
BOMB PICK: The Raven: $26 million budget – $7 million opening = 19 million
TOTAL: 35.5
BEN:
The Avengers: $207 million opening
Men in Black 3: 55 million
Ice Age
BOMB PICK: Men in Black 3: 215 million budget – 55 million = 160
TOTAL: 422
BRET:
Brave: 67
Snow White & The Huntsman: 56
Bourne Legacy
BOMB PICK: Dark Shadows: $150 million – 28 million = 122
TOTAL: 245
LAREMY:
Prometheus: 50
GI Joe: Retaliation. The Watch
Madagascar: 60
BOMB PICK: Rock of Ages: 75m budget – 14 = 61
TOTAL: 171
BRENDAN:
Amazing Spider-Man
Battleship: $25 million
Expendables 2
BOMB PICK: Battleship: 209m – 25m = 184
TOTAL: 209
Keep in mind that I won last year’s pool as you scoff at how badly I’m getting annihilated this year. A blind doberman would’ve made better picks this year.



So Ben probably already has his winning trophy/ half off A&E butt-plug picked out, amiright?
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter slayed by ginger chick?
And that’s why you don’t take a dopey idea and play it straight. You’d think this would be the end of the Old Timey Stuff + Supernatural Stuff trend, but knowing Hollywood, they’ll just keep trying.
Honestly, I liked Abe. Went and saw it Saturday, with a buddy of mine, and it was just what I expected. It was a fun, cheesy action flick that re-imagines the life of one of our greatest Americans. It was great visually, the acting was above average (though I couldn’t stop seeing the main actor as a younger Liam Neeson), the story was fairly solid, the sets were wonderful, the music fit the movie…I gave it an 8/10 and I don’t question that now one bit. I guess Abe just couldn’t withstand the Pixar Juggernaut.
How many “John Dillinger” shots did you two boys do before you went in to see it (hint, he only did one, thus the effectiveness)?
He did play a younger Liam Neeson in Kinsey.
Anyway, does it mean that Hollywood is going to learn the lesson, with Battleship and ALVH bombing, or am I just a dreamer?
Ouch, I’d say that’s a real stake through the heart for old honest Abe. Sucks.
I think it’s been asked on the Frotcast before, but when are people going to finally get sick of “It’s SUPPOSED to be loud, dumb entertainment – with a title like [stupid paper-thin concept here] what did you expect?” as the default excuse for why a movie is utter shit?
Just because I like summer popcorn movies doesn’t mean I hate plot and characters.
Abraham Lincoln: Box Disappointer
Ask Ben if he has any stock picks.
After a moment’s thought, I realize what a dumb question that is. I know, I know–
“BUY GOLD!”
Lot of evites to Ford’s Theater circulating the Fox offices today.
You could say, Abraham Lincoln:Vampire Hunter was a….(puts on sunglasses)…slave to the whims of teenage buying habits.
Thank Christ Abraham Lincoln:Vampire Hunter bombed. I don’t think I could live in a country that would want to see that movie. Hopefully this means all the other stupid fucking followers like ‘Robots vrs Zombies’ etc will get shit canned before they bother me with commercials.
History has taught us that they will have their budgets shrunk and will suck even more. Though in many cases that means “straight to video” where you can ignore it at your liesure.
It absolutely could have worked as something campy. The earnestness of the ads had me shrugging. I don’t want an epic battle between abe and the powers of darkness… I want a clever and creative battle (blah blah blah).
So I take it that the sequel “Ulysses S. Grant: Chupacabra Wrangler” isn’t going to get greenlit?
Vince, if it makes you feel better, Magic Mike is currently 100% on Rotten Tomatoes.
How could it not be? It’s a mashup of McCaunaghy and Tatum.
You guys should change the way you calculate bomb picks. Maybe do something with percentages. As is, any big budget movie makes a decent bomb pick, even if it ends up making its money back.
Bill Clinton: Poon Hunter… Now there is a movie I can get behind! ~ Armond White (after 4 shots and 3 rounds of Truth or Dare)
Joss Whedon needs to leverage his Avengers cred to flip the old timey: supernatural genre on its head. Next summer… Buffy the Congresswoman.
The marketing effort blew shit through a straw. The general populace had no idea what to make of the movie. Most times when a preview of the film would show, most theater goers around me at least chuckled, and some out right laughed. That’s never a good sign frankly.
I’ll see ti on video, but this one was doomed from the start.