Click to enlarge (it's a grower, not a show-er)
You have to tip your jimmy cap to Warner Bros. and Steven Soderbergh for keeping the zipper up on the majority of details involving the upcoming super smash blockbuster Magic Mike, because we’re less than 24 days away from the film’s debut and I couldn’t be more excited if you stuffed a roll of dimes in my bike shorts.
In fact, let’s introduce the official FilmDrunk Magic Mike Countdown Clock!
Fancy sh*t, right? And to keep us just as excited as we were when Channing Tatum first announced his intentions to take this story of his life as a male stripper to the big screen, Warner has released a new poster for Magic Mike with the tagline: “Work All Day. Work It All Night.”
But right as I was about to declare that “hella fine” and “mad legit”, I spoke with my good friend C-Tates and he told me that wasn’t his first choice. I’ve included a brief list of the original tagline suggestions after the jizznump.
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Surely the Film Drunk ‘posse’ should be invited to the premiere of this upcoming masterpiece?
MAD PROPS TO MY HOMEYS SERVIN IN IRAQ AND AFGANISTAN.
AND TO THEMS THAT’S SERVIN’ DEM HOES, SON!!!!
Matthew McConaughey: Flyin like a spread eagle.
PRESS CONFERENCE: C-TATES – ‘Yo, before any of you bitches ask any q’s, lemme introduce my boi Burnzy, he’s a major playa in the Pageant biz, ya dig?’
I’m too sexy for my shirt. But not sexy enough to lose the leather vest and tie.
Why, C-Tates is a regular Dong Juan.
I already can’t wait for the rumored sequel
Magic Mike 2: Homie’s Shootin Glue
What’s that, babe? I can’t hear you, speak into the mike.
*unzips pants*
Just because I’m dressed this way, does NOT make me sexy. My penis does that.
“We kick off dis joint wit a happy ending. Dat’s what I call ironing, yo”. –C-Tates
Lil’ Bow Wow’s all growed up.
“Grab this roll of quarters and make change”
At least Soderbergh didnt call this one The Boyfriend Experience
Dang. I thought CT was starring in Mr. Microphone. “Hey good-looking’, I’ll be back to pick you up later. And let you ride my dick to work.”
Hollywood: “Tatum may not be so great with the talky-thinky, but damn if he doesn’t put squirtin’ asses in seats.”
As if any self-respecting woman/fan of Bravo could pass up puffing on C-Tates more than twice before passing . . .
Well, they definitely missed out on this tagline:
M Cats (Matthew McConawhatever): “You’re a stripper, Mikey”
As performed by Robbie Coltrane doing the old fashioned Harry Potter Routine.
GET IT! YOU’RE A WIZARD HARRY who even listens.
Five dollars says they photoshopped McConaughey’s arms to make them look like normal human arms instead of weirdly muscular vestigial extremities they actually are.
Yo gurl, deez nutz slap big buttz. DOLLA!
C-Tates puts body glitter on his sack so he squat on stage and pretend it’s a disco ball.
Mr. Soderbergh, I believe this scene would be a whole lot better if I just took my shirt off.
From the people who thought Rob Halford was straight…
“G-Thangs in G-Strangs”
This is bullshit–where’s the “Click to attend” button??
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I am well over 5.9 cm in my PANTS. How may honey’s want to stretch the letch? HMMMMMMM?
These clowns only pretend to be Handsome.
Check out the hit new Web Series “Handsome Police” on [blip.tv]
Bring your favorite cup…C-Tates about to make you some Tea…Homie brew
I have no intention of seeing this movie, but if the ass squirting line was in the poster, I’d check it.