Most guys I know hide their porn simply by labeling their computer’s porn folder something they know their girlfriends won’t be interested in, like “Reason” or “The Ability to Drive.” But for a 21-year-old man from (you guessed it) Florida, that wasn’t enough, he also tried to stab it with samurai sword. To be fair, his computer was full of child porn and the cops were banging down his door at the time, so you can forgive him for drastic measures.

A 21-year-old Florida man, who just last month was praised for saving his mother’s life with a Samurai sword, was taken into custody this week when he used the weapon to stab his computer as FBI agents raided his home for child pornography.

Well, you know the saying, you live by the sword, you die by the sword, you save your mother’s life by the sword, you stab the child porn out of your computer by the sword. Swords are versatile, I guess is the point.

According to an affidavit obtained by the Daytona Beach News-Journal, Kamil Mezalka was in his underwear when agents arrived at his house with a search warrant and entered when no one came to the door.
Suspected of stockpiling pornographic images of young girls on his hard drive, Mezalka reportedly came out of his bedroom with his hands up when the agents entered and then went back into his room, shutting the door.
The agents followed him, saw him stab his computer with the sword, and took him into custody.

I confess I’m no Steve Jobs, but I’m preeeeetty sure that’s not the best way to delete files.

An examination of the computers in his home revealed hundreds of images of child pornography, both on the machine he attacked and others in his home, agents said. He faces a federal charge for downloading the images and could face up to 20 years in prison.

Yeah, but come on! He saved his mother’s life! Doesn’t he deserve one freebie on a child porn charge? …Okay, probably not, but Roman Polanski’s been riding that “my family died in the Holocaust and my wife was murdered by the Manson family” thing for 30 years now.

It’s a sharp turnaround for a man who in April was heralded as a hero for using the sword to save his mother, who was being choked and threatened with a loaded gun by his stepfather. [NewYorkDailyNews]

Hmmm, a man killing his computer because it was full of porn, where have I heard this story before….

That’s right! Kirk Cameron beat up his computer with a bat because it showed him porn in Fireproof! This poor guy, he was probably just trying to Fireproof his underwear dojo, like any proud Floridian. The least Kirk Cameron could do is pay for his legal defense.