Kicking off this week's This Week in Posters and Stills, here's the latest poster for Skyfall, the 23rd James Bond film, directed by Sam Mendes, starring Daniel Craig and Javier Bardem, opening November 9th. If you weren't already thrilled for this latest Bond movie... I doubt this poster is going to change your mind.
Question: Have the Broken Lizard guys finally squandered all the good will left over from Super Troopers?
Bigger Question: Why doesn't Paul Schneider have any armpit hair?
I believe the full tagline is "Be yourself and you can be anything. Especially if your boobs are big."
If sensitive robot Fassbender hasn't convinced you to see this movie, what about BIG F*CKIN' 'SPLOSIONS?! Come git some, Middle 'Murica! Aliens! PEW! PEW!
I feel like there should be at least more explosion sounds in the national anthem.
Here's a Django Unchained banner from Cannes. Probably not the most thrilling thing in the world, I realize. Also, is there a store called "ferret?" Why is there a store called "ferret?"
Okay, okay, so this one technically isn't a movie poster, but god damn, how awesome is that? Do you realize what this is? This is what that War Horse was fighting for.
Aw, well aren't you cute, Bill Murray and Wes Anderson. "Hey, who put boy clothes on that fancy lady?" I bet people are wondering. Also, I saw Moonrise Kingdom yesterday, and if you think there's an excessive amount of plaid in this picture, wait till you see the movie.
Here's an Asian character poster for Rhys Ifans as the Lizard Man in Amazing Spider-Man. This movie seems like it's probably going to suck, but this was perfect casting.
"The untold story begins." Well congratulations on being able to combine two taglines into one even shittier one. First of all, if you tell me a story about how something begins, like, say, Spider-Man, then I go back ten years later and tell another story about how Spider-Man begins and it's kind of the same but different? I'm pretty sure that's not an "untold story." That's a re-told story.
Now THIS is a good poster. Focus on a cool detail, no stupid diagonals, no floating heads, no mis-matched faces and names. AND they didn't include their dumb taglines so we didn't have to think stuff like "I'm pretty sure 'he has webshooters this time' isn't an untold story."
And here's a nice piece of shit. Let's see... pointlessly diagonal title, high-contrast rain, black, white and red color scheme, slutty red lips and cigarette smoke... how many more Frank Miller clichés could we squeeze in there? Also, not that I had much interest in a Sin City sequel to begin with, but now that I know Frank Miller is a full-on co-director, I can safely say that I'll be avoiding this like a syphilitic telemarketer.
Yes, David Cronenberg has a son, Brandon, who's also a filmmaker. I have no idea whether his movies will be anything like his dad's. The only father/child directing teams I can think of are Sofia Coppola/Francis Ford Coppola and Ivan Reitman/Jason Reitman, and neither of those children seem to direct much like their fathers.
Another one from Antiviral. Come on, man, you can't just inject it into her while she's blindfolded, that's cheating. You gotta slip it into her drink when she's not looking, that's the challenge.
Here's Shia LaBeouf looking extra fancy in The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman.
Charlie Countryman (LaBeouf) was just a normal guy...until he fell in love with the one girl who will probably get him killed. When Charlie meets the absolutely irresistible Gabi she’s already been claimed by Nigel, an insanely violent crime boss with a gang of thugs at his disposal. Armed with little more than his wit and naïve charm, Charlie endures one bruising beat down after another to woo Gabi and keep her out of harm’s way. Finally his exploits of blind valor create such a mess that he’s left with only one way out; to save the girl of his dreams, must Charlie Countryman die? [ThePlaylist]
Huh, okay. You know you can't bang chicks when you're dead, right, Charlie Countryman? Mostly what I got out of that was that this was that this hairstyle may not have been for a movie:
Ben Kingsley in a poster that looks and sounds like a Steven Seagal poster? Oh, yes, please. I would LOVE to watch Special K go rogue and start flipping out on people, Falling Down-style. I bet he'd even make a fancy speech afterwards. Count me in.
Bitch, what are you looking at? The camera's over here.
I wonder if those leather pants are standard issue for sexy army intelligence experts, or whatever she's playing.
I'm guessing that line going through the "good" means that he'll be neither good, nor will he do no harm.
This from a new batch of stills from the Total Recall remake. I think the message here is, "Yes, we're raping a classic, but look how pretty they are!"
If I had to touch butts with Jessica Biel like that all day, I'd probably have to gaffer-tape my wiener down. Just sayin.
Here's another still from Inseparable, which does not lessen my desire to see it. That's just a badass roof garden right there.
It's really hard not to think of Harold and Kumar here. It's okay, we were all thinking it. This is a documentary, so the similarity was probably largely unavoidable, but still, that's unfortunate.
Between this and the Sin City 2 poster, Robert Rodriguez's poster designer must really be working over time. Don't overthink it, man, just put the logo over a wall and call it a day! Take the rest of the day off! You deserve some me time.
I think a good strategy for this would be to stick an apostrophe in there and trick the kids into thinking Neil Young was in Journey.
Remember when the leader guy in Third Rock from the Sun was called "The Big Giant Head?" ...No? Just me then? Oh come on! It had Joseph Gordon-Levitt AND John Lithgow in it! Screw you guys, that was a good show.
I like the poster design a lot, but it seems like every indie comedy for the last ten years has been pimping a connection or a comparison to Little Miss Sunshine.
Here's Scarlett Johansson as Janet Leigh on the set of Hitchcock. I look forward to her not having to explain about Hydra weapons and reversing the polarity in this one. Then again, unless The Hulk shows up in the third act, I'm probably not going to see it anyway.
Pretty basic (but effective) poster for Ted, Seth MacFarlane's animated teddy bear movie (trailer here). I don't know, I'm cautiously optimistic for this one. They even lined up the names with the faces in the poster! Great job, everyone!
"Hey, beah, come help me eat this gook food I stole awff an awriental."
I like how those flashlights are aimed right at her butt and boobs. Not that I blame them. P Diddy knows what I'm talking about.
Here's Scarlett Johansson again on the set of Under the Skin. Don't worry, this one sounds sexy.
An adaptation of Michael Faber‘s novel, the intriguing premise tells the story of Isserley, an alien on earth disguised as an attractive woman (ScarJo) who uses her voracious sexuality to scour remote highways and desolate scenery to snare human prey. There is a lot more to the premise which we won’t ruin here, but needless to say it builds to a dark ending, with political and environmental themes peppered throughout. The material gives plenty of room for Glazer to employ his keen visual eye and sense of pace and tone and we’re pretty thrilled to see what he does here with source material that upends expectations of a sexual thriller. [The Playlist]
I hope she's naked the entire time like Species. Man, do I have fond memories of Species. These kids today with their internet stump porn, they'll never understand the appeal of something like Species.
So Michel Gondry has a new movie coming out, which seems like as good a time as any to remind you that Michel Gondry drew me a tranny one time.
And finally, last but not least, here's Will Smith goofing around while promoting Men in Black 3. Hey, is that Will Smith or DJ Spazzy Jeff!? Whackety Schmackety.
Much as I hate Will Smith and his dumb wiener kids, even I have to admit that he's one of the more athletic actors around. Of course, that's not going to stop me from using this in Photoshops for years to come.
[Original via Thesuperficial]
All posters via IMPA, unless otherwise noted.