The Octomom Porno something something can't stop vomiting

While I’ve been screaming to anyone who would listen for the past five years that Lindsay Lohan should be sentenced to do porno, she has somehow continued to commit crimes and book fake movie roles while not sucking penises on camera as a slap in God’s face. In further defiance of God, the Octomom did the logical thing for anyone with no money but lots of novelty fame, agreeing to star in a XXX video (possible title: “Cock to Mom?”). A previous report called it a masturbation video. Whether that’s actually “XXX” is debatable, but in any case, today TMZ has pictures and a report from the set.

To borrow a phrase from Patton Oswalt, now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go scream into my pillow for an hour.

TMZ has learned … Nadya Suleman completed her first day of XXX shooting at a porn mansion in the San Fernando Valley on Thursday … and we’re told things couldn’t have gone better!!!

Call me an optimist, call me a dreamer, but I can think of a few ways this could’ve gone better.

We’re told Octo appeared nervous when she arrived to the home … but after chatting with some other porn stars who were at the house, she seemed to calm down.
Before the shoot, producers decided it would be a good idea to screen some porno flicks for Octo as an educational tool … so to speak.
But when it was time for Octo to get down to business … with herself … one source on the set tells us “She was a natural … she looked great!!” [TMZ]

I’ve heard if you watch this and AMC’s The Pitch back to back, you actually turn into Patrick Bateman.

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