Avengers: Assembly!
I found this picture of The Avengers in high school over on Reddit, and while I know I said Hawkeye and Black Widow were mostly worthless characters (Whedon did an incredible job trying to make them seem relevant, but trying to make a girl with a pistol and a dude with a bow and arrow on the front lines of a war seem believable is just a lose-lose assignment), I would’ve changed my tune in a heartbeat if Hawkeye had had that righteous flattop-mullet combo. My God, he’s a spitting image of the First Place Mullet Kid!
The mullet seems slightly less righteous without the trophy and tie-dyed shirt, but still, I like to imagine them both cruising for townie chicks in a tricked out Astrovan. Meanwhile, Mr. Chris I-Never-Had-An-Awkward-Phase Hemsworth can go screw himself. Just imagining how much ass that guy has probably gotten over the course of his lifetime makes me want to drink whiskey in a basement.
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I was about to say that Chris Evans doesn’t look like he had an awkward phase either.
And then I remembered the Fantastic Four movies.
And now I need to drink.
Scott Pilgrim cancels out Fantastic Fours. Wait…they made TWO of those!? I take it back, I take it all back.
Young Ruffalo looks like the retarded version of Lou Ferringo. “ME HULK” drools through braces.
HULK HAVE JAW ALIGNMENT PROBLEMS!!!!
Thank goodness these kids overcame their perfect skin and straight, white teeth to finally catch a break and experience some success in their lives. Dreams can come true, you guys!
I’m aware that Mark “Statutory Science” Ruffalo earned his straight teeth the hard way, but c’mon! Every kid I went to highschool with looked like they’d been fresh off the set of a pizza pops commercial
Looks like Robert Downey Jr could’ve replaced Tim Curry in Legend…sans make-up.
Every time I look at that picture of Ruffalo, a Daniel Stern voiceover starts reassuring me that Paul Pfeiffer isn’t really Marilyn Manson, so I don’t have to worry about how he turned out.
Were they expecting ScarJo to get kidnapped? Because that picture looks an awful lot like practice for “Have You Seen Me?” flyers.
Chris Hemsworth remembers those dark lonely days when he wasn’t getting ass. And then he turned 5.
Uh, no Hawkeye, I don’t want to you to sign my yearbook.
I so want to be on Chris Hemsworth’s Lacrosse team (no homo)
Ruffalo: 3 days before getting drafted in the Korean War.
Was this before Downey was on ‘Charles in Charge’?
Moments after that picture was taken, Hemsworth downed a 40 and puked on a freshman.
Flatop Mullet: Toppet or Mullop? You d-side, Murka.
We call that a “thistle top.”
The “whisk broom & bar rag” would also be acceptable.
Can’t understand why Vince overlooked Iron Man’s classic butt-cut. Hulk looks like Franki Valli or somethin’.
The Scarlett Johannsen pic makes her look a bit like Alyssa Milano near the end of her Who’s the Boss? days.
They need someone on the team to make Captain America look like he’s pulling his weight.
Chris Evans has never had a pimple, has he? Bart Savagewood approves!
Holy ****, Downey Jr. is the spit of David Naughton (guy from American Werewolf in London).