Okay, internet, there’s a new Dark Knight Rises trailer out, commence pants sh*tting. This one has a lot of the same stuff we’ve seen….
- Bane, his mask, the sherpa jacket of doom
- Tom Hardy’s pillowy, smoochable lips HEY! Who typed that!
- Hines Ward outrunning people as the football field explodes
- Bruce Wayne dancing with Catwoman at one of those masquerade parties they only have in movies
- Batman and Bane fighting on the courthouse steps
Plus some new-ish stuff…
- More Joseph Gordon-Levitt
- Bruce Wayne in a hole
- The bridges out of Gotham blowing up
- Batman’s hoverjet thingie
And you know shit’s getting serious, because Morgan Freeman is there, making his “shit’s gettin’ serious” face. It’s kind of Morgan Freeman’s thing.
The Avengers opens this weekend, and obviously, the two big superhero movies opening this summer are The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises. The basic difference is that Chris Nolan will probably be trying to reinvent the genre, while Joss Whedon will be writing a winky love letter to it. It all depends what you want, overly self-serious, or nauseatingly kitschy?
Also, we won’t have to pretend that a big-boobed redhead shooting pistols is mankind’s fifth greatest weapon for Dark Knight Rises. But I’m obviously biased, because I got TDKR in our Fantasy Summer Box Office Pool. YEAH, BOO, AVENGERS! WHEDON F*CKS DOGS! DARK KNIGHT RISES ALL THE WAY! (*shoots t-shirt guns*)
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Wolverine-Tripod-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Morgan-Freeman-last-vegas-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/if-i-showed-you-all-the-money-shots-in-pacific-rim-youd-have-a-70-minute-orgasm-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/trailer-rapture-palooza-starring-craig-robinson-and-anna-kendrick-150x150.jpg)
I just watched it and I’m hype. I’m gonna go play air guitar on top of my bosses truck really quick, then give a coworker the “Rock Bottom” and come back and watch it again.
I’d get a lot more of a rise out of this if it wasn’t PG-13 and catwoman had a “oooh I must be shedding, there goes my top, I’m such a bad kitty” scene that was about an hour and a half long.
“Why don’t you just kill me”
“You’re punishment vill be much more severe.”
*farts into beer stein, pours it on batman’s head*
Wish it looked better than it does.
THAT didn’t impress you? Jesus. Tough crowd.
Seriously. I thought it looked amazing.
I’ve always found Anne Hathaway to be slightly annoying when I can’t see her boobs.
I glanced at the banner picture real quick and thought that the world hadn’t forgotten all about French Stewart. Then I realized he probably makes a decent living cleaning Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s pool & entirely side-stepped feeling bad about it
My pants are tight.
Bane’s nuts are the size of tangerines
A dark knight just rose from its cave into the rear area of my underpants.
Perhaps it’s because of my sixth coffee, but I find myself wondering – what’s the story behind Bane’s mouthpiece? I’m assuming it’s custom made and looks pricey. So he was a prisoner and they gave him an expensive, customized mouthpiece? Where would they even purchase it? Not sure why that’s my only issue here but it is.
So far Nolan has said the mouthpiece feeds him some gaseous painkiller. What for? I’m not sure. How he got it? No idea.
You never know. If Tom Hardy plays his cards right, and dies, he might just win an Oscar for this role.
HA
Catwoman left ole’ Bane because that dude didn’t know how to fellate the pussy if you know what I mean. Proper cunnilingus skills he was a lacking.
Second one was mainly entertaining for The Joker and his performance, it was more a batman villain film than anything, which I’m sure this will try to be too, but won’t be as good.
Big DC and Batman fan, but Avengers will be top film. Excellent watch if you haven’t seen it yet.
I disagree. The Avengers (which I may or may not have watched a pirated version of) is pretty much just your generic super hero movie. Sure, there are more super heroes than usual, but it’s nothing new. Based on the early reviews I was expecting something more.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good movie, but it’s retreading old ground. This looks like it has the potential to be revolutionary, just as TDK showed that superhero movies don’t have to be light + fluffy action fests.
i didnt really see TDK as a superhero movie…it felt like a crime drama involving Batman sometimes. it was jokers show, he was the protagonist, the movie was just batman playing catchup. im looking forward to this, but avengers has my vote for best superhero movie.
So unrealistic, Hines Ward can’t outrun an elderly lady let alone a giant explosion and other football players.
Don’t know if it’s just for the trailer, but they definitely cleared up Bane’s dialog. Also, from a scale perspective, this definitely looks to dwarf the first two.
“Who are you?”
“I am Gotham’s Rectum King.”
AVENGERS RULES!!! WOOO!!!!
Bane gets a blumpkin from Catwoman… *plunk plunk* (indecipherable moaning)
“yew ah as precious ta mee as yew weah tew yer own muvah and farvar”
don’t make sir michael caine open up a pint of whoop ass.
that shia laboof guy from inception is getting a blow job from bane.
This isn’t me trolling, but this suddenly looks like it might be better than The Dark Knight. As much as I love that movie, it’s success was way too dependent on a single performance. Ask people what they love about Inception or Memento and you get several different answers. With TDK it always begins with Heath Ledger, then usually peters out. This looks like a more epic, yet story-driven, experience.
I love Organ Reeman
This is pure nerd porn.
Bane should have entered the NFL Draft
Jack Nicholson in The Dark Knight Rises!?
[www.youtube.com]
Will Jack Nicholson be in The Dark Knight Rises?
[youtu.be]