Kevin Smith’s transition from cult filmmaker to one-man media empire continues this week as Hulu has announced that Smith’s “anti-movie review” show, Spoilers, will premiere on Hulu starting June 4th. SPOILER ALERT: He wears his hockey sweater in the promos. Will he bring his calf-length shorts and stinky trenchcoat? Only time will tell, friends, only time will tell.
Smith calls it an ”anti-movie review show” where the filmmaker will take a bunch of fans to see ten summer blockbusters on opening day, forgoing the early critic screenings he abhors so much, and then have an in-depth discussion about its merits. “We don’t review movies, we revere movies,” he says.
Oh go f*ck yourself.
“We don’t really review it, we savor it, imbibe it like a liqueur, if you will.”
The film’s Smith and friends will review for these 10 episodes are as follows:
- Snow White and the Huntsman
- Prometheus
- Rock of Ages [Editor's Note: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA]
- Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
- Magic Mike
- The Amazing Spider-Man
- Ice Age: Continental Drift
- The Dark Knight Rises
- The Watch
- The Bourne Legacy
- Total Recall
[via Slashfilm]
You know, I always used to like Kevin Smith, because he seemed straightforward and honest, and told great stories, and because it’s impossible not to respect a guy who maxed out all his credit cards and basically bet it all on an independent movie and won. But it’s gotten harder and harder to balance that admiration with how much this new fake-folksy schtick of his makes me want to drive railroad spikes into my ears. Poor filmmakers! They can never get a fair shake from REAL MOVIE FANS, what with the all-consuming juggernaut of the print industry and their meanie intellectual critics taking over everything! Why, these days, there’s only Comic-Con, Dragon-Con, Wizard-Con, Vampire-Con, Anime-Fest, Air Hockey-Con, Zombie Walk, Jorts-Con, and National Beard Day, and after that what is there? Why, I hardly hear what chubby shut-ins have to say at all! Thank you for finally giving them a voice, Kevin Smith! The ascotted snobocracy has had their say, and now it’s high time we heard from Joe Regular and Harry Mantits, the only true movie fans, the adult action-figure collectors.
Ugh. I don’t know, man. I’m all for discussing movies, obviously, but selling this as “true movie fans” vs. “negative critics” is like some weird, Nerd McCarthyism.
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Glad I saw the embed vid at the bottom. I was about to ask if you didn’t mean to say “Nerd McCarthyism . . . and shit”.
“Go fuck yourself” is the only possible reaction to this show.
There’s a reason he is most popular for portraying a largely silent character. No one wants to hear him speak.
Next, he’ll be saying that people with fashion sense can’t make fun of his hockey jersey/jorts combo, because hockey jerseys and jorts aren’t for people who know how to dress themselves.
I’m surprised he isn’t wearing a Florida Panthers jersey with those jorts.
His sleeves made me angry.
What happens when they don’t like one of the movies?
Yeah, that’s the only reason I might watch. I wanna see how they tiptoe around directly criticizing a movie.
Kevin Smith: Hi you might remember me from movies as the fat dude who can’t act in movies that are overrated. OR you might remember me as the fatguy who couldn’t go on planes or the one that breaks toilets while shitting in my JNCO’s, that look like capri jorts, with a custom made hockey jersey that I wear so I dont feel embarrassed when I pick up my over weight daughter, and shit.
yes mrejr8234 thats why he has all those successful dvds and pod casts with hours and hours of him babbling
What can I say? People are stupid.
Note to Slashfilm: you don’t pluralize a word with an apostrophe, you weak-ass JV shits.
Well put.
I briefly consider it whenever I need to pluralize an abbreviation. Then I straighten my monocle think to myself, WWMD.
Seriously though, on films? Seeing as the word is part of their name, you’d think they’d have figured it out.
Fuck em.
Is Kevin Smith the East Coast version of Smash Mouth / Guy Fieri?
Sounds like a college course these days.
You know – “Sociology 203: Kevin Smith and Neo-Freudian Clothing: an intense look into sagging clothing and the decline of virile film production” or something.
I like Smith but not his movies. And yet, having his own AMC show about picture books for retards already put him over the line.
Reminds me of “punkers” who think anyone who puts out an album that isn’t on a self-owned label is a “sell-out.” Or self-proclaimed anarchists who think you “can’t” do certain things – without a hint of irony.
Waiting for Smith’s New Stand Up Show Where he does stand up bits about News topics, like the dailyshow & shit but it’s called Jorts.
“Jorts and shit.” Though, that sounds more like the recollection of a drunken mishap than a daily commentary show.
More like “Chasing FROSTING,” AMIRITE AMIRITE?
No one told me about Jorts-Con. I am so there.
(And I would watch this if it were not on a pay service I don’t have. So sue me.)
s someone who still likes Kevin Smith, this looks dumb and his sell of the movie grated on me. The last line by Vince is both great and true. True movie fans love ALL movies guys! Not let us discuss the merits of The Love Guru..
The problem with Hollywood’s “meritocracy” is you only have to earn it once. After that it turns into an aristocracy, and studios end up rejecting fresh ideas in order to give $300 million to that Toy Story fuckface so he can make John Carter.
In most every other industry it’s all about “what have you done for me lately”. Just imagine:
Auto Exec: Hey George, we really need that new design from you. We’ve got a lot riding on this.
George Lucas: What are you talking about? Don’t you remember that car I designed 30 years ago? It was the top selling model back then.
Auto Exec: Yeah, well, that was 30 years ago.
George Lucas: Fuck you. I’m turning in crap.
Why dont they just call the show “Masengill” and get it over with.
I think someone still holds a grudge from the Jersey Girl reviews. Only Kevin Smith could make a shit bigger than Kevin Smith’s own bowels.
Yeeeeaaahh. So, I’m supposed to take seriously the guy who thought the Star Wars prequels weren’t shit, along with whatever retarded fanboys with whom he sees these movies? I’d watch a show featuring Jason Mewes rapping about blounts, though.
I equally dislike his more hardcore fans. “Oh dude Mallrats is soooo funny!!!” Yeah I got the “fast-talking higher level vocabulary coming from low-class young people who use bad language as well” schtick the first time. It doesn’t play after a while. Pretty sure that’s why people started hating on Nickelback, we’ve heard this song before, we don’t need 20 more just like them. You need to expand and grow, or die.
IF I WANTED TO WATCH AN OBESE CHILD FLAIL ABOUT ON MY LAPTOP, I’D GIVE THAT NUMA NUMA KID HIS EIGHTY-MILLIONTH VIEW, YOU BE-JERSEYED HACKASAURUS!
I’ve never made it the whole way through one of his movies but I don’t hate him. However, he makes me super uncomfortable whenever he talks about cumming. When Kevin Smith says “Cum” it’s the worst thing in the world.
This Week in Jorticulture
When did Guy Fieri dye his hair black?
That was righteously funny. Your fastball just gets faster, Manicotti.