Comments of the Week: Real-Life Supervillain Edition

Until I print more FilmDrunk shirts, I’m all out of larges, extra larges, and smalls (still lots of mediums though!), but don’t worry, I still have a comments of the week prize. It just so happens I have a copy of Underworld Awakening on Blu-Ray. The case is a little messed up because my puppy chewed it, but that won’t stop you from watching it. I think it’s about werewolves or some shit. Yes, it’s a very professional operation we’re running here.

Okay, enough talk, let’s declare a winner. This comment, from Shop 101 on Real-Life Supervillain Rex Velvet Emerges, Issuing Challenge to Phoenix Jones, was actually part of a longer comment, but I shortened it because it’s more awesome that way:

Shop 101: Theater majors gonna’ theater.

See? Send me your address to collect your DVD, Shop. Join me below the break for this week’s honorable mentions:

From Mel Gibson on Jay Leno, “It’s kind of like you build a house, you hire a guy to put a roof on it, he comes over and eats lunch and talks about the roof, and then you get rained on all night.”:

Mel Gibsons Beaver Puppet
IT’S KIND OF LIKE YOU BUILD A DAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HIRE A JEW TO CUT YOUR WOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEN THEY NAIL YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR TO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are few things I enjoy so much as commenters who comment in character.

From Michael Bay being Michael Bay:

Ace Rimmer: In a surprise twist, Johnny Wu’s ‘tang clan IS something to fuck with.

That was obscure, but A+ for wordplay.

From Ian McKaye’s birthday party wasn’t as sucky as Kirk Cameron’s:

Backlund 2012:
(To Filler)
WHERES ALL THE DAMN FOOOOOD!?
-ITS ALL JUST CAKE!
THERES SOMETHIN ON YOUR HAND
-ITS IAN’S NAAAME

THIS PARTYS LAME! THIS PARTYS LAME! THIS PARTYS LAME!
FIFTY!
YOU CALL IT A PARTY!
I CALL IT SHIT!
FIFTY!

I give that an A+ for making me read it as a Minor Threat song. Same post:

The Jersey Devil: Belinda had to stand in the hallway because she brought devil’s food cake.

From Grandma’s watch Kim Kardashian’s sex tape:

Mustafa Dystrophy: One thing we know for sure about these three ladies: their panties were wet before they started watching the video.

ChinoMoreno: I’d never let my Grandma watch this on my laptop.

(Grandma’s a squirter)

This week’s winning pun, courtesy of Stinky Pete in Elijah Wood starring in a version of Speed where the bus is a piano:

Stinky Pete: In the original version of the script not only did they threaten his family, they glued the sheet music together, forcing him to play from memory. That was when it was still called No Turning Bach.

And finally, from “Obi-Wan Kenobi” gets arrested for hit and run in Northern California:

Stinky Pete: He’s the driver that did the Kessel run in six car wrecks.

Nicely done. Anyway, thanks for providing me another week of entertaining comments, you clever bastards (even though some of you are dicks). As always, to nominate for this week’s Comments of the Week, paste your favorite comments in the comments section below.

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