Tom Cruise hanging on to the second largest phallus discussed in this post
It’s Tuesday and you know what that means! Besides the latest impossible mission, there’s Michael F. Assbender and his monster wang, Val Kilmer, Tom Selleck, possibly inebriated celestial beings, a real-life spy, a dance crew, and everyone’s favorite naked purple giant, The Amazing Bulk.
The DVDs:
Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol
Shame
The Man On The Train
7 Below
High Road To China
The Last Rites Of Joe May
The Divide
A Heavenly Vintage
The Man Nobody Knew: In Search Of My Father, CIA Spymaster William Colby
Jerusalem Countdown
Robotropolis
Crew 2 Crew
Episode 50
Aggressive Behavior
Hell’s Labyrinth
The Amazing Bulk
If you’re even just a little curious to learn more, keep reading on the next page. If you want to jump right to the suggestions for Netflix streaming, click here.
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This has turned into one of my favorite regular features. Great stuff, Mort.
Oh, and I love Lee Majors bionic hair. It’s the 8th wonder of the world…after those 7 self-arming nukes that are gonna blow up Jerusalem.
Speaking of Netflix; What the fuck is ‘TED Talks’ and why are my already shitty Netflix Canada selections swarmed episodes of them??
I like that he named his wang:
Besides the latest impossible mission, there’s Michael F. Assbender and his monster wang, Val Kilmer
Come on, y’all. Everything looks big next to Tom Cruise.
(Where are you, defensive Tom Cruise super fan?!)
*gay crickets*
Speaking of Canada, with Rogers dropping rentals I have lost my last big box distributer.
I’d probably see half of these if I could pick them up and leave them around house for a week but none if I have to commit to some sort of service. But I guess I’m alone in this.
I’m with you. Not owning a proper computer/XBOX/etc. and having no access to wifi really hinders one’s ability to hop on the Netflix train. Plus I miss getting in arguments with the snotty Rogers clerks when they’d call telling me I still owe them >$100 for a DVD copy of “The Shining”.
“I already brung you your tape back, dhangus!”
Also what Johnny Dickshot said , Mort’s feature is can’t miss for a direct-to-video hound. Redbox as an alternative is going to cripple that unless we get up to speed.
I think Tom Cruise would personally offer a fine rebuttal to your multi-layered shut-down of his “No Sequels” clause, but someone made the mistake in the early days of the internet of telling him “The world wide web? Oh yeah, there’s gays in there”.
A fine read as always, Mort
Blood Creek is bad.
Like, rooting for the ****SPOILER ALERT******
horribly disfigured Nazi zombie to kill everyone and end the damned movie.
And how about the zombie horses sequence? They looked terribad.
Eff you guys, Blood Creek was super entertaining.
Blood Creek is to Nazi/Zombie/Horror-movies-with-that-dude-from-Prison-Break as Little Caesar’s 5 dollar pizzas are to something else. I forgot what I was talking about. I’m hungry.
Anyone catch the Incredible Bulk’s hand looking like a penis getting erect at 1:03? Complete with cymbal crash in the b.g in order to emphasize it more. As for the one before it, 2 comments; 10 It looks like they took the cutscenes from a sega cd game and put it all together and called it a flim. and 2)Usually porno trailers allude that there will be fucking in the film.
called it a *film.
In re: The People Under The Stairs
There was also one of the two black kids from The Mighty Ducks.
Dear ‘The Amazing Bulk’ Trailer,
You had me at fuchsia Comic Sans.
Fassbender plays a nazi occultist in West Virginia
SOLD to The Klingon masturbating furiously!
See Blood Creek nao. You will paint a hex mark on the barn.
Wow, High Road to China even had a faux-John Rhys-Davies. That level of duplication takes intelligence.
Pfft. If your dad’s the head of the CIA, he’s probably already seen the insides of all the girls’ pants.
Mission Impossible 4 is decent, but sometimes the gadgetry (and product placement) is avoidably excessive. “Let’s see, we can disable this one Russian guard. Or, we could create an elaborate illusion of an empty hallway using the magic of iPads.”