You remember this one? Vince wrote about it over a year ago. Why do some dopey low-budget genre flicks look like sh*t while others look like fun? I wish I could say, but I don’t know. The heart wants what the heart wants. I’m guessing it lies in the balance between sincerity and camp. Too much of the former and the filmmakers look delusional, too much of the latter and they look like they don’t care. For this film, the live rats running around on miniature sets conveys just the right amount of self-aware charm. Plus, as Vince pointed out, there’s a dead baby.
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Hidden
This Canadian/Italian co-production is the latest in the haunted mental hospital sub-genre. The twist (spoiler alert!) is that this hospital was an addiction treatment facility, but once the addictions were removed (what the f*ck?), they lived on as mutant children. Why children? Because, as Vince has pointed out, all crappy horror flicks have to be about either haunted houses or possessed children. This film employs both. I’m sure it’s a delightfully chilling thrill ride.
By my count, this DVD synopsis is the 139th one I’ve written since starting this feature in February. That means I’ve watched the trailers for close to 300 movies, trying to decide if they are worth sharing. At least 100 of these trailers are for awful looking torture porn flicks. You have no idea how many of these movies come out each week. I didn’t expect this one to catch my eye, but what can I say, the trailer went against expectations, and while I doubt the movie’s any good, the trailer was a breath of fresh air. Take a gander.
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Trippin
This horror flick/stoner comedy won’t be funny. It also won’t be scary. The official synopsis claims it is a “refreshingly ironic take on the classic ‘cabin in the woods’ scenario.” First off, I don’t think it is refreshing for a straight-to-DVD horror comedy to be ironic, at least not to self-identify as ironic. This abortion comes from ‘Camp Motion Pictures’ and you just know that everyone who works for that outfit is a chode. Unless they mean ‘Camp’ as in a youth wilderness retreat. If that’s the case, then I assume they are all aspiring pedophiles.





Holy Shit! That’s Dunbar from the Real World at the beginning of The Terror Experiment! I guess this is what happens when movies stop being polite and start getting real (awful).
The demise of Blockbuster has ruined movies for me. No fresh faced teenie to give me the stink-eye when I rent Sleeping Beauty.
I always got the weird older guy who thought he’d be cool by pointing out how hot the actresses’ boobs are in movies. Even if I’m there with my mom. And 13. Y’know what? I’m glad that guys probably unemployed and homeless now.
“Dude, isn’t it fucked up that Even Rachel Wood is dating Marlyn Manson?”
Yeah dude, it is.
I was totally waiting for the old dude in that No Body Found trailer to say “So we’ll schedule the surgery for the 17th?”
How could you leave out Dragon Eyes, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme and Cung Le?
[www.middleeasy.com]
Despite your linked article, I can’t see that it has actually been released in the US. Can you find proof that it has been?
Probably not. I bet Seagal used his vast powers to delay the release.
I see the issue. Middle Easy is pretty awful for journalisming, and Dragon Eyes came out in the UK on the 9th, and won’t be in the US until May.
My apologies. I should know better than to use ME for any kind of factual information.
Do they just let anybody write articles and make photoshops for this site?
You’re an asshole and your comments are not funny, they just make you sound like a snarky, bitter little bitch. Go away.
I cannot WAIT for the porn parody of Rat Scratch Fever.