The queen bathes in Gargoyle jizz

Universal Chief Ron Meyer won major points with me last month when he admitted that his studio had made “a lot of sh*tty movies.” And also “Wolfman and Babe 2 are two of the shittiest movies we put out. … Cowboys & Aliens wasn’t good enough. Land of the Lost was just crap.” He also said he doesn’t really like 3D. So, basically he’s got the “ability to recognize past mistakes” part down, but he sounds a lot more shaky on his ability to avoid future ones. Here’s what he said about Universal’s upcoming Snow White & the Huntsman:

Meyer said that while the upcoming Snow White and the Huntsman doesn’t appear to lend itself to a sequel, Universal thinks it can do more movies based on the character of the Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) if it is successful. [THR]

Now, to bring you all up to speed, a quick trip down the rabbit hole with me: Snow White and the Huntsman, roughly the twelfth movie coming out this year to assume the Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter derivative mash-up structure, is a movie about an evil queen played by Charlize Theron, who one day finds out that she’s no longer the fairest in the land, because somewhere out there, Snow White, played by Kristen Stewart, is fairer. So the queen sends out Chris Hemsworth (The Huntsman, aka Thor) to kill Snow White, only The Huntsman betrays her and instead teaches Snow White the arts of war so she can lead an armed insurrection against the queen like Joan of Arc. Yes, Kristen Stewart, the heartburn/lip-bite chick from Twilight. If Universal thinks it can make sequels based on The Huntsman, maybe they should’ve just made The Huntsman, because all that other stuff sounds pretty stupid. “It’s John McClane! Don’t you remember him? He’s the guy who put Humpty Dumpty back together again.”

This is the most gnü metal-looking movie ever. I bet Snow White has a tramp stamp that says “FAIRE$T.” RIP, Sneezy.