Expect to see a lot more “urban-targeted films” (movies with black people in them! imagine!) now that Think Like a Man (based on Steve Harvey’s book) earned $33 million in its opening weekend for ScreenGems (a subsidiary of Sony). I haven’t read the book, but knowing Steve Harvey I imagine 80% of his advice involves wearing really shiny suits. The opening was good enough to beat every Tyler Perry film except Madea Goes to Jail, which earned $41 million on the same weekend in 2009. I have to think this is better for racial understanding, in that white people don’t have to try to understand the appeal of Tyler Perry movies. Anyway, it’s unfair to call it a “black film” when it clearly had Turtle from Entourage. Talk about crossover appeal!
Meanwhile, Zac Efron’s The Lucky One opened with a very respectable $22.8 million, which was good enough for the second biggest opening ever for a Nicholas Sparks weep-queef. The biggest ever was Dear John, so I guess the fickle public was quicker to accept Channing Tatum as a lovelorn Marine than Zac Efron. Though I have to think this one would’ve made at least $10 million more if only they’d given this intolerable live-action muppet a goddamned haircut:
Every second that kid is allowed to walk around without anyone pinning him down and going to town with some clippers is like pissing on God’s face.
| This Wk | Last Wk | Title | Weekend Gross | % Change | Theater Count | Average | Total Gross | Budget* | Week # | ||
| 1 | N | Think Like a Man | $33,000,000 | - | 2,015 | $16,377 | $33,000,000 | $12 | 1 | ||
| 2 | N | The Lucky One | $22,805,000 | - | 3,155 | $7,228 | $22,805,000 | - | 1 | ||
| 3 | 1 | The Hunger Games | $14,500,000 | -31.3% | 3,752 | $3,865 | $356,900,000 | $78 | 5 | ||
| 4 | N | Chimpanzee | $10,205,000 | - | 1,563 | $6,529 | $10,205,000 | - | 1 | ||
| 5 | 2 | The Three Stooges | $9,200,000 | -45.9% | 3,482 | $2,642 | $29,355,000 | $30 | 2 | ||
| 6 | 3 | The Cabin in the Woods | $7,750,000 | -47.4% | 2,811 | $2,757 | $26,980,000 | - | 2 | ||
| 7 | 5 | American Reunion | $5,200,000 | -50.4% | 3,033 | $1,714 | $48,300,000 | $50 | 3 | ||
| 8 | 4 | Titanic 3D | $5,000,000 | -58.1% | 2,515 | $1,988 | $52,828,000 | $18 | 3 | ||
| 9 | 8 | 21 Jump Street | $4,600,000 | -29.9% | 2,427 | $1,895 | $127,066,000 | $42 | 6 | ||
| 10 | 7 | Mirror Mirror | $4,114,000 | -39.9% | 2,938 | $1,400 | $55,206,000 | $85 | 4 | ||
[via BoxOfficeMojo]
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If I see a kid walking around with a ‘do like that, I immediately fly into a blind, uncontrollable rage. I want to see his parents murdered in front of him, the little bastard.
Pissing On God’s Face is what I like to call it when I urinate on a natural wonder like The Grand Canyon or El Capitan in Yosemite.
Incidentally I should be able to start visiting National Parks again in 5-7 years. Hooray!
More “urban-targeted films”? Does this mean that the record scratches in their trailers will be 6-7 minutes long and have been beat-boxed by The Fat Boys?
I fucking hope so.
RIP Buff Love aka the Human Beatbox.
That book could have the best advice ever, but I’d never make it past the title. “Think Like a Man?” Way to go, Captain Condescending.
So, to me and any other sane person, it’s clear from the popularity of terrible movies, shows and “stars” that the Apocalypse has in fact arrived. What is not so clear is, when exactly, the 4 horsemen will arrive. I’ve always assumed it would be a Monday.
Steven Seagal is Danny Urban, an ex-CIA agent who, when the mob steals his wife’s cancer medication for some reason, plans to take down the entire crime family all by himself. Whether enforcers, drug pushers, hitmen or pimps, they’ve all just been…”URBAN TARGETED.”
33 Million!!! Gimme Tyler Perry on the phone… greenlight ‘Think like a Mandea’ It’s Tyler Perry, as Madea, as a MAN! Aww no SHE dint, Aww yes HE did!
Asian guy in the back left, thanks for showing up.
Judging by the facial expressions in the banner pic, that scene involved an interracial group of friends seeing the Rodney King verdict for the first time.
The worst part of these “urban-targeted films” are all of the Uncle Toms REACHING to connect with the target audience. The Mighty Feklahr will be gull durned if there isn’t a scene in the movie with “basketball” and someone says, “Watch this OREO DUNK, lol!”
“This is why we can’t play horror movies at TGIFridays.”