I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for the 1987 Mark Harmon-starring Summer School, not because it was a good movie, but because it had a dog in sunglasses on the cover, which is always radical (he was sort of the proto-Marmaduke). The sad news is, that dog is most likely long dead, filling up a grave somewhere next to Mark Harmon, and now Paramount is pissing on his dog corpse by hiring Adam Sandler to produce the remake.
Happy Madison, the production banner run by Adam Sandler and Jack Giaraputo [that's Spanish for "Jar of puto" -Ed], is in negotiations to come aboard to produce Paramount’s planned remake of Summer School.
School was a light 1987 comedy directed by Carl Reiner that starred Mark Harmon as a gym teacher forced to cancel his summer plans and teach an English class filled with oddballs and rebels. The film also featured a young Courtney Thorne-Smith.
Sandler is not attached to star in the project, which soon will hire writers.
Paramount has been trying to remake the film since 2005, but the project has been stuck in development detention. [THR]
Wait, did you say development DETENTION?
Between this and the Candyland movie that he’s supposedly producing and starring in (note: I’ll believe it when I see it), it seems Adam Sandler finally may have figured out that it’s easier make other peoples’ crappy movies than your own. Or as I like to call it, “Ratnering.”
Also, has anyone at Paramount actually looked into Sandler’s track record of movies that he’s produced but not starred in? Let’s recap:
- Bucky Larson: $2.5 million lifetime gross, 0% RottenTomatoes
- Grandma’s Boy: $6 million lifetime gross, 18% RottenTomatoes
- Paul Blart: $182 million lifetime gross, 33% RottenTomatoes
- The House Bunny: $70 million lifetime gross, 41% RottenTomatoes
- Strange Wilderness: $6.9 million lifetime gross, 0% RottenTomatoes
- Benchwarmers, $64 million lifetime gross, 12% RottenTomatoes
- Deuce Bigelow European Gigelo, $44 million lifetime gross, 9% RottenTomatoes
- Dickie Roberts, $22.7 million lifetime gross, 23% RottenTomatoes
- Master of Disguise, $43 million, 2% RottenTomatoes
- Joe Dirt, $30 million lifetime gross (budget: $34 million), 11% RottenTomatoes
I’ll be honest, I had no idea The House Bunny or Benchwarmers made that much money when I started making this list. Nonetheless, one of the most surefire ways to lose money on a movie is to have Sandler produce and not have him or Kevin James star. …So I guess we can expect to see Kevin James teaching summer school†. That actually makes complete sense, sadly. I can’t wait for his earnest heart to heart with Gabourey Sidibe about how it’s okay to keep your t-shirt on at the beach.
†Though it could always be Peter Dante. He has a pretty solid track record of being Sandler’s go-to whenever they need someone with a tan.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/will-smiths-wild-bunch-remake-smith-plans-to-produce-and-star-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/forgotten-classics-ray-romano-kevin-james-in-direct-to-dvd-grilled-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Snake-Eyes-Shark-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/Weird-Science-Boobs-150x150.gif)
Starring Dean Cameron or GTFO
Kirstie Alley, or Drew Barrymore in a fat suit?
@beerguyrob
That’s a little redundant, no?
I will only see this if they bring back the original Chainsaw.
No, just an actual chainsaw.
“His Jewish heritage is confounding modern sexual milieu and his terrible Latin accents harken to a young slender Charles Nelson Reilly. Truly this Robert Schneider and his casting as the dog’s talking scrotum is breathtaking artistry at its finest.”
–Armand White
Looking at that list of awful movies, Sandler has mastered the art of producing:
“Shitty Generic Name” + “Stupid Occupation” = All the money America would have spent on Doritos Taco Bell tacos
Wow. Nailed it. BTW that dog on the poster really is the cat’s meow. I haven’t seen a dog that happy since the one that appears on “Doggles” packaging.
haha “which soon will hire writers” – LOLWUT?
LOL, I was about to say the same thing.
What the hell is George Lucas doing in an Adam Sandler post? Oh, wait, it’s a pelican, never mind. Stupid neck pouch always gets me . . .
“Joe Dirt” only 11% on Rotten Tomatoes?!? Are you kidding me? That movie is awesome…
“Life’s a Garden, Dig It.”
Agreed
stop looking at me swan
They’re remaking a classic! My childhood is being raped by a dog wearing sunglasses!
It’s good to hear that they’ve spent 7 years trying to get this off the ground. You really want to get all of the little details right when remaking such a pivotal moment in cinema history.
2ummer 2chool: Same plot, just a little more retarded
Paul Blart: SubFARTute Teacher
SubstiTOOT Teacher?
In typical “Tip of the hat to the nostalgic bastards who remember the original” fashion, the kid who asks to go to the bathroom for the first class then returns to ace the final will be played by Mark Harmon in blackface
How ’bout a spoiler alert next time?????
Paul Blart: ASSterschool Suspension
Whoops, I meant “Detention”… or “FARTention”, for that matter
This will be the movie where Sandler finally introduces the “Nutshots of Fury” scene of a kid using the villain’s balls like a speedbag
WHAT?! LEAVE IT ALONE!
I just want to jump in prematurely and say that anyone who things Grandma’s Boy is anything other than crap should turn off their xbox. And then probably turn it back on cause there’s nothing we can do for them. Those poor poor souls.
BLASPHEMY! Goes back to Mass Effect 3
If this remake is an NCIS crossover… I’m in.
They’ll remake that, but not Poochinski?!
God I loved this movie growing up. It was a pre-tarantino movie that depicted movie nerds as somewhat cool, and all the kids drank and passed out and nobody was a ‘bully’, not even to the nerdy kid, which was a huge staple of 80′s teen comedies. Don’t get me wrong, its a terribly stupid movie, but there is a charm to it.
It was definitely a staple of the VHS era.
It’s a remake that sort of makes sense, as it was a shitty comedy for teens to begin with and an update for a different generation will probably make money. Or at least it will if one of Sandler’s friends who can’t act isn’t the lead. But really, Summer School? Couldn’t you just slap a different title on the same premise, or do they expect some kind of nostalgic bumrush from 40 year-old dudes who are like, “Oh yeah, that movie with Mark Harmon. The dudes who liked horror movies were kind of funny…Hot Kirstie Alley was in it? I should check that out again.”?
“I can’t wait for his earnest heart to heart with Gabourey Sidibe about how it’s okay to keep your t-shirt on at the beach.”
That last line made me foreshadow-squirt a little diarrhea…with laughter.