Well this is amazing. After three movies, the Step Up franchise, or as I like to think of it, the house that C-Tates built, is still going strong. The latest installment (previously called Step Up 4Ever) just released a trailer. It’s called “Step Up: Revolution,” and I swear to you this is the actual tagline: “It’s not just a step, it’s a revolution!” Basically, the plot is that Miami’s hottest all-white dance crew is busy setting the town on fire with their unzipped hoodies and sex appeal. One day they go to where the minorities hang out in order to build up the street cred, and a wise old Cuban man is all like, “Mira, ju putos son pretty goo for gringos. Ju okay by me, mang. Here, let me teach ju the handchake of my people.”
But just when they’ve been accepted by the ethnic types and it seems like everything is perfect, the old man is like, “Mira, have ju heard of thees Mega Globo Omni Corps? They tryeen to destroy my people’s way of life.”
Then Peter Gallagher shows up, and he’s all like, “As the official representative of The Man, it is my duty to inform you that I’ll be tearing down the rec center so that all these beaners have more time to carve me some elevator buttons after we clear cut the forest.”
Then Not C-Tates is all, “Yo, girl, we gots ta stop this fool’s hella whack plans! I mean I ain’t had to use a serious face like dis since my moms got remarried!”
“But what do we do, Tyler/Connor/Cody??”
“The only thing we know how, girl. Call every black person you know.”
“YO. I think this white bitch cray. …But maybe ‘cray’ is zactly what we need.” (*wry looks, bro hugs all around*)
STEP UP 2 THA REVOLUTION! A REVOLUTION OF STEPPING, LIKE FOR REAL!
“WHAT? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS, YOU ARE RUINING MY FANCY LUNCHEON! DON’T YOU KNOW I’M PETER GALLAGHER?? YOU’VE SCUTTLED MY MEETING WITH A TEAM OF JAPANESE INVESTORS!”
YOU CAN’T STOP OUR STEPPING. IT’S MORE THAN JUST A STEP: IT’S A REVOLUTION! NOT EVEN MEGA GLOBO OMNI CORP CAN STOP THE PEOPLE!
“Noooo, even the police have turned on me! MY EMPIRE IS CRUMBLING!!!!”
(*bro hugs until fade out*)
“Maybe y’all white folks is alright.”
[via FirstShowing]
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I’m waiting for Doakes to pop up from behind one of those shipping containers.
SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER.
I’d see that movie ten times
Seems like that dance crew is going to get SERVED, some legal documents to cease and desist their disruptive activities.
Hoodies and Florida? Maybe George Zimmerman will shoot this movie.
The hoodies seem to be safely worn by buff shaved down white dudes.
Shaved down, or Naired down? There is a difference.
A smooth, silky difference.
How does someone named Gallagher not know that if you wanna build on the docks you gotta appease The Mob?
His first instinct was to smash the Rec Center with a sledgehammer.
Yo, don’t let it put ya brain on flips, but this headspin is like, a revolution and a half.
GRR! FLASH MOBS! VIRAL VIDEOS! PROTEST ART!
Take note, boys and girls, this is our Great Gatsby.
The Man is gonna do a complete 360 when he sees these moves, yo!
[www.youtube.com]
(A 360 is known as a Charles Dance Revolution)
Step Up 4: Electric Boogaloo?
Step rite up 4 da Beat Beat Revolution
Step Up 4: The Dumbening
Step Up 4: The Dumb4ning
Yo yo, Mega Globo, time ta step correck to da 99 persizzle. Considah yo ass OCKAPIED!!!
This trailer looks so crass and idiotic that the Miami Heat are going to use it as their introduction at home games
Seriously, the fuck did I just watch?
You witnessed a REVOLUTION, son.
March 30, 11:24am – the moment I officially feel old.
Here are a few ideas for future Step Up movies
Step Up 4 Life: The Step Up franchise takes a turn when a pro life company purchases the rights for the forth movie. Step up 4 life is a dancing pro life propaganda film
5tep Up 5 fa5t 5 Furiou5: Channing Tatum returns to reprise his role with Vin Deisel and that other white guy for a fusion of dancing car races.
Step Up Seven Samurai: We go to Tokyo to check out the Japanese scene where those little asian guys dance off in a turf war against the Koreans. Also Channing Tatum reunites with the Step Up crew as the Madam of a geisha club.
Step Up Eighters gonna Eight: uhhhhhh.. Eight guys dance for the Rec Center because a retarded pro wrestler wants to bulldoze it down for his new gym. Channing Tatum is attached to play the Geisha madam again.
Keep going with this if you come up with ideas.
Step Up 9-9-9 Herman Cain Steps Back Up: Channing Tatum goes deep under cover as a pizza delivering gigolo to raise money for Cain’s 2016 presidential bid
Step Up 10 Commandments – After falling in a coma, conservative Christian Not C-Tates goes back to Biblical times where he has to free early Christians from persecution via dance. Expect variations on “Walk Like an Egyptian” and eyeshadow.
Step Up 3000 A.T. (After Tatum): A reanimated space Tatum is brought back to life to unite the warring clans of Saturn’s moons. Channing Tatum’s reanimated corpse reprises its role of an unlifetime. Step Up 3000 A.T. promises outta atmosphere space dancing with jet boosters propelling dancers with so much dance force that we lost one of Tatum’s arms in filming!
Huffs on paper bag full of paint thinner, then pops it in space to see all the little paint thinner bubbles explode out.
Naw, come on; Eight Is Enough (enuf).
“Oh no, the Miami strip may be taken over and turned into a douchy area!” ALREADY HAPPENED.
I do however appreciate how Vince’s Cuban characters talk the same as Mexican characters.
well, he did throw in a “mang”, so I’m gonna let this one slide
I can’t believe I watched that. It was the dumbest thing I have ever seen.
If we taught soldiers to dance like this, the Middle East would have crumbled long ago and would have become like the hottest dance spot in Asia. Evil shall fall to my pop ‘n’ lock, son.
This “Revolution” makes Occupy Wall Street look like Black Panther rally.
Its as if the company that makes Axe body spray sponsored a reenactment of Tiananmen Square geared towards retarded people.
Fuck you. This is the.