The idea to remake Total Recall first 
2010, and just when you thought those memories had been repressed, we learned that it would be set entirely on Earth and probably be rated PG-13. If you haven’t already thrown your computer at a chicken, you can watch the teaser for it below.
DOWNSIDE: Someone’s remaking Total Recall.
UPSIDE: ‘Splosions, Kate Beckinsale’s ass, Colin Farrell’s eyebrows.
Total Recall is an action thriller about reality and memory, inspired anew [f*ck you, 'inspired anew' is not even a thing] by the famous short story “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick. Welcome to Rekall, the company that can turn your dreams into real memories. For a factory worker named Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), even though he’s got a beautiful wife (Kate Beckinsale) whom he loves, the mind-trip sounds like the perfect vacation from his frustrating life – real memories of life as a super-spy might be just what he needs. But when the procedure goes horribly wrong, Quaid becomes a hunted man. Finding himself on the run from the police – controlled by Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston) – there is no one Quaid can trust, except possibly a rebel fighter (Jessica Biel) working for the head of the underground resistance (Bill Nighy). The line between fantasy and reality gets blurred and the fate of his world hangs in the balance as Quaid discovers his true identity, his true love, and his true fate. The film is directed by Len Wiseman. The screenplay is by Kurt Wimmer and Mark Bomback and the screen story is by Ronald Shusett & Dan O’Bannon and Jon Povill.
Total Recall will be released in theaters nationwide on August 3, 2012. [press release via ComingSoon]
Kate Beckinsale is of course married to Len Wiseman, continuing the grand tradition of middling directors pimping out their hot wives for action movies, not that there’s anything wrong with that. If this remake thing doesn’t work out, I’d love to see a commentary track of Arnold Schwarzenegger talking about Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel’s ass for two hours.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Wolverine-Tripod-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Morgan-Freeman-last-vegas-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/if-i-showed-you-all-the-money-shots-in-pacific-rim-youd-have-a-70-minute-orgasm-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/trailer-rapture-palooza-starring-craig-robinson-and-anna-kendrick-150x150.jpg)
I still dont get why they even called it Total Recall if its on Earth the whole time and not a remake… Name recognition? Is it a reboot/prequel?! Can Kate Beckinsale bend over some more?! SO MANY QUESTIONS
in the future BRAAAAAHM’s turn into VREEEAAAAAAARM’s
also are we really going to accept that there are now trailers for trailers? And that a Trailer Premiere is a thing to look forward to?
I’m sorry, what was everyone saying? I was thinking about Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel and trying to decide who would look better with a third boob.
I made that depressing realization while watching it. “This Sunday? Movies don’t come out on Sundays. Oh God no this is a trailer for a trai-BRAAAAAAAAHM.”
I wonder how they’re gonna do the scene when Quaid’s fat lady suit malfunctions…
“Have you brought any fruits or vegetables onto
the planetEarth?”“Twwwoo-weekss…”
“…Excuse me?”
“OI SAID TWO WEEKS, YA MANGY FOOKER!”
*’splosions!*
Can it just be Randy Quaid in a lady dress please?
As a practicing amateur ENT surgeon I’m most looking forward to seeing what he pulls out of his nose. Perhaps that will be in the sequel to the trailer’s premier or a new reimagining of this movie’s trailer sequel once again for the first time.
Coming…This Summer…
The Total Fifth Recall of the Minority Blade Element Runner Report
Thanks for stealing my half-assed “Minority Report 2: Majority” joke.
Props. That title is way funnier than mine.
really don’t give a shit about this movie, other than 1) I love Kate Beckinsale (and her ass). and 2) Props to including Dimebag Darrell in your banner image
Kate Beckinsale truly Is fantastic. Everything else about this sucks. I hope at least Arnie has a cameo – as the Johnny Cab driver! “WHERE DO YOU VANT TO GO? I KNOW A PLACE FULL OF BEAUTIFUL MULLATTO ASS.”
cotw
i liked COLIN FΑRREL
…working for the head of the underground resistance (Bill Nighy) and the mutant parasite that grows out of his stomach (Snookie).
A trailer for a trailer.
Makes sense.
Are they bringing in Tom Cruise to play the midget slut with the machine gun? TOM, get your ass to Mars! There aren’t any gays there!
This Sunday, get your ass to Mars.
Wow, still with The Fifth Element flying/diving cars?!? So 1997.
Is it going to be like the book or something?
Ask the coke wizard Jesus.
Was the company name spelled with a “K” in the original? Because if that’s an extreme! update I’ll be very upset.
Vince should be so proud of this photoshop. RIP Dimebag.
Giving Kate Beckinsale’s ass top billing when Jessica Biel’s ass is also in it? What the fuck? And trailers for trailers are also stupid.
Can we just watch this DVD commentary on the big screen instead?