You wouldn’t know Mike Stone if he came up to you on the street and socked you in the nuts with a pillow case full of lemons. But in a matter of just a few hundred Tweets, this 18-year old high school senior from Minnesota has generated enough Internet buzz – Huffington Post, The Daily Mail, Buzzfeed and the Chive have immortalized him already – to make a Bachelor reject consider dating him. Hell, we could probably hook him up with Jennifer Love Hewitt right now (#HOTTGOSS!).
Since Feb. 24, Stone has used his Twitter account to bombard somewhat famous personalities, including singers, models, Jersey Shore stars, Playboy Playmates and WWE Divas, with requests to attend his senior prom with him on May 12. But more than anything else in the world, Stone would love it if one of his favorite adult film actresses would do him the honor of being his date. And boy does this kid know romance.
It started with “international adult film star” Mariah Milano almost a month ago, and since then Stone has reached out to Allie Haze, Jenna Haze, Stormy Daniels, Chanel Preston, Julia Ann, Tori Black, Kendra Lust, Teagan Presley, Gina Lynn, Bibi Jones, Riley Steele, Joanna Angel, Lisa Sparks, Celeste Star, Charity Bangs and countless other actresses and models.
He even asked Kim Kardashian, because this kid doesn’t discriminate between professional adult film actresses and girls who simply make amateur sex tapes with Brandy’s brother because Paris Hilton told her it would get her a reality TV show. Hilariously, he also asked VH1 Buzz host Carrie Keagen if she’d go. Maybe he knows something we don’t.
Some of his potential dates have sent him pictures out of appreciation, others have simply said thanks and wished him well. Hell, some chick named Kylie Ireland called him fat for no other reason than she’s rude. But so far, from what I’ve gathered from looking through countless Tweets and responses, the big winner is nude model Megan Piper (her Twitter account is NSFW, so beware), who Tweeted that she’d go if Stone covers her airfare. No need, though.
The people at Redneck Beer Hats, who spelled their web domain incorrectly on their Twitter, have offered up $1,000 to help Stone achieve his dream, so hopefully he and Piper have a blast at senior prom in less than two months. In the meantime, let’s scorn some of these so-called friendly ladies who spurned this young man’s best efforts.




















Wait, the girl who names herself CHARITY BANGS said no? Can he sue for false advertising?
*quickly registers ‘Pity Fuck’ at pornstar names database*
Actually, the term “pity fuck” could mean different things to different perverts. (It can be our secret. Don’t tell unless anyone unless they axe and gives you the third degree by sprinkling old spice in your eyes. SPEED STICK! Please don’t ban Him, Lince!)
Oh my god, could you imagine listening to Jessie Jane for 3 hours complaining about the hors d’ouvres and what the other bitchy girls are wearing?
This kid is living the dream.
It is an absolutely genius move. Not only does he have numbers on his side but he basically went after hot attention whores and gave them a way to get attention. I hope this kid gets at least a spit helped hand job for his trouble.
Clearly this kid needs a father figure. An older, wiser man would have recommended he ask Tori Black.
Why, you ask? Ass2Mouth GUARANTEED!!!
Reading is fundamental.
If he was as smooth as his brother Keith, he wouldn’t need to beg.
*slow clap*
If his sister is Emma, he’ll be hearing from me, immediately.
You would think his uncle Evan could hook him up with someone.
or his favorite band, Rolling.
*sees self out*
These kids today have got it good. If this Twitter was around when I was a kid, I would’ve gotten rejected by Chasey Lain and Kobe Tai a whole lot quicker!
I kind of want to see a girl ask Max Hardcore to go with her, now.
Well, he’ll save on the corsage. She already comes with her own rosebud.
Yeah but he’s gonna have to spooge…err splurge for a pearl necklace that night.
The Girl Next Door is a pretty good movie, all things considered.
He’s just going about it the wrong way. All the respectable porn stars use Twatter.
This kid looks like the type who will eventually move all his downloaded pics of dead women from his ‘Relevant to My Interests’ folder to the ‘Spank Bank’ folder.
Sounds like a pretty cool kid to me dude.
Woody Harrelson has been hitting “refresh” on his twitter every 10 minutes for a month straight.
In the immortal words of my dear uncle, “If a hundred say no and one says yes, you’re batting a thousand.”
I think it’s amazing he got Dale Jr. to lend him his car to take his date. Now that’s amazing.