Universal spent $200 million on Battleship, a movie adapted from a board game about coordinates set in a time when no battleships remain in service. In keeping with the tone of the project, it makes at least as much sense that one of the posters would feature a pop star from Barbados (though depicting her with bruises and scrapes all over her arms and face seems like poor taste). I also like that the poster designer was like “F*ck punctuation, yo, commas are for college boys.” FROM HASBRO COMPANY THAT BROUGHT YOU TRANSFORMERS UNIVERSAL PRODUCTION COMING IN APRIL I AM A UNICORN MEEP MORP.
Anyway, I’m not in the Navy. Is resting the gun stock on your boob standard practice? It seems like you’d want a less jiggly firing surface, if accuracy is the goal.
[via Buzzfeed]
REPORTER: So tell us, what’s the movie about?
BATTLESHIP SCREENWRITER: PEW! PEW!
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“From Hasbro the company that brought you Transformers”
This is all one magnificent elaborate prank, isn’t it? No way this is all real.
If I wanted to see Rihanna with cuts and bruises, I would just Google Image Chris Brown.
COTW already!
Aaaaaand CUE THE CHRIS BROWN JOKES!
*fireworks*
- Cue the domestic violence jokes.
- Which ones?
- All of them!
Rhianna has to be one of the few people on whom that anchor/skull tattoo isn’t the stupidest piece of body art. We should probably try to keep that picture away from Steve O.
Trying to make Rhianna look tough is actually not the worst part of this movie. Bravo people who made a bet to see how horrible things could be.
I bet you her character is going to be so sassy.
And be full of wisdom bestowed upon her by a dead Barbados grandma.
Sure, humans defeat advanced alien tech with discarded earth tech made in the 1930′s. Fuck you Hollytards. Only thing stupider would be us hacking them with a 1990′s era laptop.
She’ll probably just go all Sockholm Syndrome with the aliens.
Haha, Sockholm.
As in Sockholm Sweden.
If I’m to suspend my disbelief enough that a chick with a fantastic rack is going to take down alien ships with a rifle, I’d at least like said aliens to look like wolves & have Cpt. Ram Punchington (Liam Neeson) fight their leaders on the deck of his ship with broken vodka bottles taped to his fists
Unlike Chris Brown, Rihanna has been framed.
Let the bodies hit D-4.
This. Is. Epic.
You tiefed me battleship! Bow! Bow!
Rihanna 3D!
…with an M4!!
Rihanna gets a purple heart….when Chris Brown punches her in the chest.
In this gritty and urban reimagining, candidates from the naval academy will fuck up alien anatomy with their gunship’s battery.
Reminds me of my day at cardio boot camp.
“Push Ups? Is this some kind of exercise?!?”
Shouldn’t the tagline be
The Battle For Earth Begins At “C”
-1 for missed utilization of Earff.
Gahhh, you’re right.
Jada Pinkett Smith wants her image back plz.
Oh, dawg, she gonna be dodging some minstrel-bot pimphand.
WHACK!
“Get down there and change my oil, b****!”
It’s a wonderful night for Oster! Oster, Oster! Who will win?
Boob gunning may not be encouraged, but literally everyone has some form of anchor tat. And loves spinach.
“We found love on a battleship… We found love ON A BATTLESHIP!!!”
I stand by my previous statement of “Meh, I prefer Battleshots.”
Michelle Rodriguez just fired her agent.
So I’m to believe she got some bad ass Navy tattoo, but hasn’t once lifted anything heavier than a chihuahua? They could’ve photoshopped her some muscles, I don’t think it would hurt the integrity of the movie any.
I’m actually pretty excited about watching a movie with Rihanna and a bunch of seamen.
Thanks a lot poster designer guy. Now I HAVE to jerk off.
“Universal spent $200 million on Battleshit”
translation- someone let the windowlickers run the show for far too long