
Corporate-Financed Party Porn
The knives will be out for Project X and it’s easy to see why. It’s easy to hate and even easier to critique, with its offenses against intellectual discourse easily quantifiable. The humor is deliberately low, and the protagonists aspire only to the kind of Tucker Maxian drunk bronerism that anyone who fancies themselves socially conscious will tell you is vapid and empty. Not only does it flunk the Bechdel test, it practically compliments the examiner on her tits and asks for a sandwich afterwards (I can not WAIT for the Jezebel review, or for Ebert inevitably high-horsing its dangerous glorification of binge drinking, for that matter). It plays like the porniest, most exploitative (though less hipstery) American Apparel ad you’ve ever seen, adapted to a 90-minute movie as directed by James Adomian’s version of Dov Charney. But while the sexism is undeniable, the attempts at comedy dumb and predictable, and the pandering blatant, there’s an overwhelming nihilism to the whole enterprise that I found simply delicious. I like that everything about it is bad for you. It’s dumb, over-sexed, derivative, and unrealistic, but almost gets by on panache alone. It’s bad and decadent and overproduced, but oddly charming, like a Def Leppard record.
Ten minutes in, I was ready to hate it too. The plot is more or less lifted straight from Superbad (whose plot was not exactly revolutionary itself), with leads Thomas Mann and Oliver Cooper like meaner, less charismatic versions of Michael Cera and Jonah Hill, who call each other “faggot” and constantly express the desire to get their dicks wet (a line that actually comes straight out of Todd Phillips’ 1998 documentary Frat House). Jonathan Daniel Brown plays their fatter, nerdier whipping boy, bearing the brunt of obvious whale and diabetes jokes. Worse, it’s a “found-footage” movie. Mann’s parents are going out of town on his birthday (sidenote: really?) and the kids’ plan is to throw a party big enough that it will finally propel them to regional infamy and endless teen pussy. Mann’s parents give them free reign of the house, partly because Mann’s dad secretly doesn’t think his son is cool enough to even get people to come to a party. “He’s… a loser, honey,” Mann’s dad tells his wife sadly, the perfect combination of dumbed-down, on-the-nose, and trite.
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Project X’s decadent charm doesn’t really kick in until the actual party starts, when commercial director (and Todd Phillips protege) Nima Nourizadeh discovers his raison d’etre: shooting stylized montages of drinking, drugs, mayhem, tits, drinking, and more tits. If you can’t appreciate it on a visual level alone (and it is beautifully shot, both the movie and the tits), it helps to think of Project X as an 18-year-old male’s fever dream. That’s the only way a world with this many stacked, gleefully naked teen girls could be even remotely believable. But within that, it has an odd integrity. There’s never any attempt to apologize for having no higher aspiration than drunkenness and promiscuity, or for deliberately selling both to teenagers. At one point, Cooper’s character puts a sign next to the pool that says “naked chicks only,” and the next thing you know, girls more supple and nubile than any with whom you went to high school strip down in front of everyone and jump right in. NO WAY, BRO! OPEN ANOTHER SCHMITT’S HETERO! Those same girls’ smooth young breasts and butts will be cut to many more times; in context, out-of-context, regular speed, slow-mo, artfully shot from underwater, inside a bounce house, and going up stairs.
You’ll see this movie inevitably attacked for its piggish, amoral, booze-and-sex crazed characters, but try watching Frat House some time. In a way, these are just a less Hollywood-ized version of actual young a-hole dudes. The question is whether the movie is actually asking you to like them.
Project X tends to bomb when it goes for overt humor, like a bit where a midget escapes from an oven and then hits people in the crotch, which could easily have been a scene in Spike TV’s God-awful, misguided bro pander, Blue Mountain State. X is much better when it goes for pure visual impact; youthful debauchery almost as performance art, like the best shot of the film, a sequence where a Mercedes crashes into a pool with a guy hanging from the open sunroof. And whereas I bashed Chronicle for constantly having to re-explain its found-footage conceit, repeatedly justifying its multiple camera angles with a character who’s a photographer, another who’s filming his whole life for a blog, etc., Project X just accepts that we’ll accept it, and it’s the right approach. It’s not that believable a gimmick to begin with, so why not go nuts with it?
While Project X is dumber, meaner (could really have done without the ‘no ugly chicks, bro!’ attitude), and a worse movie than Superbad on most levels, and will surely get bashed as such, there’s something refreshing about the way it doesn’t apologize for its characters’ horniness. There’s a weird trend in Judd Apatow-produced comedies of the male protagonist refusing an attractive woman’s sexual advances because of some technicality, a scene that happens not just in Superbad, but Wanderlust, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Get Him to the Greek… almost everything he’s produced. It always struck me as a bit of an apology, as overcompensation, more a reflection of the kind of people we want to be than the kind we actually are. The characters in Project X (realistically) don’t balk when sex with girls far out of their league (unrealistically) lands in their laps. There’s a broader trend of the asexual funny guy, and while it’s good that not every comedian has to be Andrew Dice Clay, neither should they have to be Conan O’Brien. I could probably have done with this being affirmed in a less sexist way than in Project X (girls don’t have to be free of personality in order for me to appreciate their tits, for example), but it was nice to see it affirmed nonetheless.
Project X is bold, fun to look at, and easy to watch. And on some level, like its protagonists, it understands that sometimes there’s a goal greater than being nice or cute or polite or heartwarming or even funny. Sometimes it’s enough to just be memorable.
GRADE: B



You’re ignoring the obvious question, Vince:
Are there tits?
Well put, but the best thing about it by far is that it could raise awareness in this country about the horrors of torturing monkeys for military research.
Sounds offensive. I’ll just wait to rent Project X XXX: A Porn Parody.
This Is Not _______: A Porn Paradox.
I’ve got nothing else to add to that. Something just put the phrase A Porn Paradox in my head and damn if I’m not getting it out there.
Grade: B for Bros, Boobs, Beer and Bitchez
A film full of ‘overwelming nihilism’? Did Werner Herzog direct it?
but are the tits in full display or are they blurred out?
Full display.
*nods*
*high-fives boner*
*freeze frame*
*roll credits*
Just might see this.
someone tried to tell me this was sort of like “life in a day” w/ real kids doing their party hearty thing & i was scared to see sub-par boobs. now that i know they’re “smooth young breasts and butts”…. sign me up!!
You’ll see this movie inevitably attacked for its piggish, amoral, booze-and-sex crazed characters
Translation: You’ll see this movie inevitably attacked for its guys.
Sold, to the man who loves tits!
*puts on serious glasses*
How come you like shitty movies like this and Jonah Hex, then justify it by saying “But they KNOW it’s shitty so it’s cool to like it in an ironic sense”, but then rip Transformers? Seems unfair to Ben.
I’m here for you, Ben.
I like Jonah Hex because I can laugh at it, Project X isn’t really that. Kind of the opposite, you sort of go with it even though you know it’s dumb. You’re not laughing at its ineptitude. It’s actually really well put together, especially from a visual standpoint. And as for Transformers, that’s just super busy and shrill and manic and over-edited, and I have trouble enjoying those types of movies — see also: the Bourne movies that Burnsy loves but I can’t stand. It feels like it’s assaulting me.
Your face is really well put together.
“It’s bad and decadent and overproduced, but oddly charming, like a Def Leppard record.”
I’ve never seen my guilty-pleasure love of Def Leppard so perfectly defined. That line alone is enough to make me wanna see this. That and the tits. Well, mostly the tits.
That line got me too. I will now check if any of the Hysteria album is on my ipod on the drive home.
What has 9 arms and sucks?
intellectual discourse easily quantifiable? Tucker Maxian drunk bronerism? It seems that your blogging slacks are bringing out the verisimilitude of Armonde White.This is no anathema to the well read observer.
Thesaurus.com…making people feel smart since 1997
Brilliant deduction, dipshit, I totally got “Tucker Maxian drunk bronerism” from the thesaurus.
Vince, this guy’s name has the word juggalo in it. No need to respond with anything other than “magnets bitch!”
“Vince, this guy’s name has the word juggalo in it. No need to respond.”
fixed.
lol clearly wasn’t directed at Vince but ok, sensitive people cry, such is life.
Zee stupit teenagahs and zay flat brains.
So it’s a remake of Salo.
At first I thought you meant that it was a remake of Solo, starring Mario Vam Peebles. I think you are a little closer with Salo.
Is there a reason this isn’t called Bropocalypse Wow?
well done sir.
well done indeed.
It’s okay, dudes. My dad owns a dealership.
Him dad own dealership!
Whaaa…They made a sequel to The Hangover…..Whaaaa
Working title: Profit Margin X.
Pass.
Schmitt’s Hetero is good and all, but I’m more of a Schmitt’s Gay kinda guy…
I still just want to see this just for the tiny dog in the bouncy house… i hope there’s a whole 30 second segment about it.
I read this entire review twice and it distinctly sounds like it was written by the Hedonismbot.
Bring on the chocolate icing!
Let us cavort like the Greeks of old!
You know the ones I mean.
In real high school their house gets trashed, they get beat up, and nobody gets laid. Also lesson to dad just because the kids a loser doesn’t mean the cool kids won’t use your house as a warzone when your dumb kid invites everybody.
“Morally Indefensible”? I get that the whole “no fat chicks” thing is immature and mean, but calling a Todd Phillips movie “morally indefensible” seems like something the PTC would say.
Blue Mountain State is funny bro.
Okay, actually, Thad Castle is funny. The rest is… well… kinda like Beer Fest. It makes me wanna drink heavily.
Holy fuck. That guy is by far the worst thing about that show, and that show is awful.
I feel old when I see a movie like this and I instantly hate it, I mean do we really need MORE of this “party hard” BS? There is already to much of this on TV with reallity shows and we see it every saturday night just by taking a walk down the street, why the f@ck do we have to see it on movies to? whats the frigging point?
Its a bunch of idiots getting drunk and laid over and over and over and over again. Why am I supposed to be entertained by watching it happen to other people, and people who doesn’t exist in real life or they exist but they are morons.
Anyway get off my lawn.
I had to make a logon just for this article; couldn’t resist it.
If I want tits, I watch porn
If I want beer, I go to the liquor store
If I want to party, I start one
And if I want to be entertained, sometimes I go see a movie with a plot relevant to my lack of fuck-giving, but this film(?) is somehow poised to degrade my humanity just by proxy.
I might be one of those assholes who doesn’t know how to “have a good time”, but with the conviction of a dragon shitting lasers into the sun, this commenter declares “Project X” to be the dumbest fucking movie he has ever heard of. CRUCIFY ME!
I haven’t seen this and really had no plans to because I just don’t think I could get suspend disbelief enough to buy that a high school party could lead to people shooting flamethrowers into trees and riots going on in the streets (judging from the commercials). The reason Superbad was so good was because it hit home to what most average high school guys are like. Even if their goal is to be over-the-top and unrealistic for the sake of fantasy, that doesn’t sound worth it. I have the internet, I don’t need to watch a shitty movie to see 2D tits.
All those tits sure would be great if I was alone in the theatre, or had never heard of the internet.
I doubt any of them got any homework done. And that more than anything else is disgusting.
I dont disagree overall with the review- Only thing you left out-THIS MOVIE HAS NO ENDING. I should put spoiler alert- but the only thing I’m spoiling is the surprise that youd have when you found out there is ZERO conclusion.