"Thunderbox one requesting back up, Thunderbox one requesting back up. I can't tell you where or when, but I'm Under Siege."
The story of martial arts legend Judo Gene Lebell choking Steven Seagal until he soiled himself is a tale nearly as famous as Richard Gere’s gerbils, Rod Stewart’s stomach pump, or Danny Thomas’s predilection for glass-bottom boats. The 79-year-old Lebell, who was cageside for judoka Ronda Rousey’s arm-snapping win over Miesha Tate last Saturday, was recently interviewed by Ariel Helwani on The MMA Hour, where the subject was again broached of Steven Seagal, who’s been known to get his leathery scent on MMA from time to time.
Basically, according to Lebell, when he choked Seagal (who, according to legend had claimed he couldn’t be choked out), Seagal pooped an entire steak dinner, which is probably not the unique physiological reaction he’s used to.
Well, if a guy soils himself, you can’t criticize him, because if they just had a nice big dinner an hour before, you might have a tendency to do that.
Aw, it’s cute that you’re being so coy, but come on, we’re talking about a guy with a ponytail crapping himself here.
Steven Seagal is a very outstanding martial artist. I’ve got nothing against Steven. Personally, myself I don’t think he’s taught these mixed martial artists how to win a match…He’s done a lot for martial arts, but I know where he’s insulted Randy Couture. Well, Randy Couture if he ever got mad, would have him for lunch. And that isn’t to put down Steven, but ‘closed mouth don’t catch any foot.’
Weird, that was my exact Match.com headline.
In other words, you can’t put your foot in you mouth if you keep it closed. When we had a little altercation or difference of opinion, there were thirty stuntmen and cameramen that were watching. Sometimes Steven has a tendency to cheese off the wrong people, and you can get hurt doing that. [TheMMAHour, transcribed by CagePotato]
It should be noted that Judo Gene has been known to tell a tall tale or two, but as far as you believe him, this is his official word on the subject. Also, I know “cheese off” is old guy speak for “to make angry,” but I’d also like to believe that Steven Seagal has a tendency to get actual Cheeto dust on people.
SEE ALSO: Steven Seagal denies ever pooping himself.
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You assume Segal was trying NOT to poop. He’s the guy who came up with “Winner Winner Chicken Dinner” it’s a defense maneuver bro.
It’s not a defense maneuver. It’s a defense mechanism; like when a squid sprays ink to evade predators. Subtle, but there is a difference.
I like to think it wasn’t so much that he pooped an entire steak dinner, but an entire steak dinner decided it was better off without him.
[writes "use 'cheese off' in conversation as often as possible" on to do list]
Being able to poop himself on command is why Seagal can’t be choked out. Most people back away from Poopy-no-jitsu. Guess he met his match.
And, yes, Seagal shouts out “Poopy-no-jits!” before he executes his “Valsalva Special Move.”
It’s a maneuver he invented, and teaches to schoolgirls in Japan. I believe Vince is familiar with his Poopy-no-jitsu-protégés’ films.
Seagal shouldn’t have menacingly boasted to the crew that he wanted to “take his cheese…..OFFFF!”
Seagal wants a full steak dinner. Seagal gets full steak dinner.
Reading that headline all I could think was, “Steve is such an egotist that when he poops it looks like himself.
Glass bottom boats you make the rockin world go round.
I was feeling all satisfied with myself, deciding that Steven Seagal teaching Japanese schoolgirls to poop on command should be Frot-Canon, but now all I can think of are Frot-Cannons. I guess they would fire Frot-shot and such.
Now lending his name to Daniel Bryan’s finisher is only the SECOND coolest thing about him…
All I could think was now his a Marital Artist, giving advice to newlyweds at the church ring.
That’s what happens when Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is your mentor mma whosiewhatsit guy.
Whether they’re on DVDs or in BVDs, Steven Seagal releases are always pretty shitty.
“Originally taught the fecoplata to rickson back in ’84…in those days we still called it the brown anaconda choke. He claims he was him submitting me but once I unleashed the fecoplata he let go of the choke and ran. So who really submitted, Gene?” – Seagal
This gives me a great idea for ‘Jesus Didn’t Crap’ MMA shirts. They’ll look way better than anything Affliction has ever put out.
I think Vince has deduced the “unique physiological reaction” is. Seagal is able to produce unknown amounts of Cheeto dust on a whim. This in addition to his fecal escape tactic makes he one of the deadliest blues playing, faux-Russian, time-traveling, sensei with a ponytail this side of the Pacific.
Dear god, I kept reading that as “Judge Gene Lebell”. And I’m thinking “What circuit does he sit in?”
Ali perfected rope-a-dope. Seagal perfected poop-a-dupe.
To get ‘cheesed off ‘ is a British expression. Where we live there is a problem with Seagal shit too.
What other techniques has Seagal taught Tim Sylvia?
Also, does this mean that Blackhouse just trains on the beach for easier cleanup?
Sometimes you just gotta roll with it dude.
http://www.Anon-This.tk
Well, its been known that alot of you out there yes you, don’t hide lil boys and girls making fun of Mr.Seagal, Gene Labelle can choke a chicken, but he can’t choke A MASTER LIKE Mr. Seagal, just like Chuck Norris and alot of kick boxing donkeys out there, Yall are all jealous of Mr. Seagal cause aikido is not an art of showing off but an art of winning without a fight . So yes mma is about a mix of boxing, kicking, grappling, wrestling, and wow jujitsu, which jujitsu is cousin to aikido in budo sense . So I wouldn’t fight in mma caause the rules say” let go of the glove” but aikido is based on hand techniques and i know alot of defenses from the bottom as much as from the top, you can perform ikkyo, nikkyo from any position and i hold a third degree in aikido, I would love to train a female to beat the crap out of Rhonda Rousey judo ain’t nothing not even close to an aikidoka Gene Labelle crapped in his pants if he would see me, and Rousey I am calling Gene LIAR AND I WOULD CALL HIM A LIAR TO YOUR UGLY FACE AND YOUR BUTT LOL YOUR BUTT LOOKS LIKE A MANS BUTT ROTFLMAO Kardeshian looks a hell of alot prettier than you. and judo ain’t nothing when it comes to aikido, oh and i would be more than happy to fight Randy Couture any time any day . It’s a great day to whoop somebody’s ass!!!!!!!!
But what can you tell me about gettin’ dat paper?
you wouldn’t be safe fighting Me, let alone Randy. A fight makes you hurt and that is out of your internet comfort zone.
This is my individual opinion but SS as a fighter? He is a shitty actor, idiot lawman and self centered fat man. Not a fighter.
If my 75kg frame where to fight mr crapants I would find a stone and bash him with it, run 20 meters, find another and I would not stop till he shit his pants.
Randy would take him down sooner or later, sit on him and show him some man made hurt.
Did i say Gene and Rhonda are scared for me to have a match with the not so natural couture, HOW BAD DOYOU WANNA SEE AIKIDO IN MMA MF’S!!!!! YOU AIN’T GOT THE GUTS
Oh come on now nageudouche, don’t get butthurt because no one believes in master poopy pants. You are probably 12teen from Moldova seeing a Seagall film for the first time this year even though they’ve been out longer than you’ve been alive. Your age is apparent from your childish criticisms and mannerisms, grow up namby pants.