Jason Segel Has Bailed On The Muppets

A lot was made of Jason Segel playing the role of Jim Henson with last year’s The Muppets, but the finished product was a masterpiece that did a great deal of justice to the franchise that many of us grew up adoring and still openly fawn over despite how many girls it scares away at bars. Well now the old school cynics and naysayers can rest easy, because as Disney has announced plans to move forward with a Muppets sequel, Segel will have no part in it.

“It’s true but it’s totally amicable. My goal was to bring The Muppets back and I did that leaving them in very good hands, my writing partner and James Bobin the director. I did what I set out to do, and now I wanna pursue more human-related projects (laughs).”

“All I wanted to do was to set the stage for them to do whatever they wanted. I’m sure I’ll return in some capacity here and there, but that was half a decade of my life. Five years of hard work. I’m ready for a little puppet break.” (Via Collider)

Hilarious. You don’t just leave the Muppets behind. They’re a part of your life forever. In fact, here’s an idea for the sequel – the Muppets, scorned by their dear friend, decide that they will not be just forgotten by the man who stuck his hand up their backsides and then simply walked away. So they track down Segel on the set of his new film and they stalk him, ruining every relationship and opportunity that he has until he has no choice but to beg them for their forgiveness. Only then, as Segel is curled up in a puddle of his own tears, will the Muppets truly forgive him… by allowing Animal to feast on his flesh.

Or they could all sing “Together Again.” Either way, I’d be happy.

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