
To be honest, I’m still on the fence about the whole Avengers thing, but with Joss Whedon directing, it turns out every new tidbit is like nerd catnip, so here’s your breathless coverage. As they say, daddy ain’t allergic to cash money, and neither is mommy’s cooter (mommy being my favorite stripper, Darla). The new trailer after the jump is in German, but it does have a couple new scenes, and Latino Review helpfully provides your translation. Wait, did you say Latino? (*locks car doors*)
First, there’s an extended dialogue between Steve Rogers and Tony Stark. Here’s the translation:
Tony: And following orders is obvious not my style.
Cap: And everyone knows that style is all you care about.
Tony: From all the people around here, who wears the most figure-hugging outfit?The second addition is the last scene. Stark is literally prodding Bruce Banner testing his patience, trying to get Banner to Hulk out. This is the translation:
Tony: I promise a stress-free environment. No surprises.
Banner: Ow!
Cap: Hey!
Tony: You really got it under control, don’t you. What’s your secret? Relaxing Jazz, Bongo Drums?
Cap: Is everything like a joke to you?
Tony: If it’s funny!
With Joss Whedon onboard, I guess I’m not surprised at the kitsch level, but if Tony Stark is going to be so goddamn self-aware about everything, I just hope he’ll be equally scrutinizing of Hawkeye and Black Widow.
“Hey, Tonto, as long as you’re resurrecting obsolete technologies, why don’t you snap us a fake Polaroid on Instagram? And then later, maybe you and Busty von Judochick here can whip us up some sandwiches while me and the other superheroes fight crime. Hey, have you seen my assistant or is she out hawking $1500 cake knives again?”
[via LatinoReview]



Captain America seems like he poops at parties.
I did that once. Bad call.
The German literally translates to “What’s your secret? Watchmaking? Alphabetizing your library?”
Instead of Ruffalo they should’ve just gotten the dude who played Lattimer in The Program.
STARTING D! YEAH!
*headbutts Black Widow unconscious. Paul Bettany’s voice says “begin soggy biscuit scenario in 3….2….”
EISENMANN IST DER HELD VON DER ZUKUNFT! DER ZUKUUUUUUUUNFT!
Zusatzlich, das Film ist Scheisse.
God dammit Whedon you’d better not give us another duke nukem forever with this.
Why would you offer more than I desire? I only want what I desire and nothing else.
a latino that speaks german?
Grampa?
a latino that speaks german?
Carlos Mencia?
Shit, I’m doing this wrong, aren’t I?
I don’t give two shits about the Avengers, but I love that photoshop so much. It makes me giggle every time I see it.