"You know what this needs? Norbit." - Someone, apparently

Good morning! Who wants to read about something that is stupid and unnecessary?! YOU DO? Boy are you in luck. From The Hollywood Reporter:

Is the world ready for a sequel to Twins?

WHAT WHY NO.

Universal and Montecito Picture Co. are hoping to develop a doozy of a follow-up to the 1988 hit comedy that starred Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito that would reunite the two stars.

But wait, there’s a twist: In the new scenario, Eddie Murphy would act as a third brother.

[bangs head on desk]

Titled Triplets, the story would see Schwarzenegger and DeVito as brothers Julius and Vincent, conceived experimentally, who discover they have third sibling.

STUDIO EXEC: So I hear you’ve got a pitch for me?

SOME GUY WHOSE NAME I WILL ASSUME IS TREVOR OR SOMETHING: Oh man, you are going to love this.

STUDIO EXEC: Let’s hear it.

TREVOR: OK, just hear me out here … [unrolls old Twins poster] … what if there was a black one?

STUDIO EXEC: [pushes intercom] Helen, bring in all the money you can carry!

The project doesn’t have a director at this early stage — Ivan Reitman, who helmed the original, would only act as a producer with his Montecito Picture Co. cohorts Joe Medjuk, Tom Pollock and Ali Bell, according to sources — but the hunt is on for writers to develop the idea. Insiders caution that no substantial creative discussions have taken place between Universal and Montecito.

“No substantial creative decisions have taken place” pretty much sums up the whole thing, no? Anyway, at least there’s still time to rethink this. I mean, it’s not like any of these actors would attach themselves to a project before any creative decisions have been ma—

The actors are attached to star.

[goes back to banging head on desk]

This wouldn’t be the first sequel to an 1988 film that Universal is working. The studio is developing a sequel to Midnight Run that sees Robert De Niro, one of the film’s two original stars along with Charles Grodin, returning in an incarnation to be directed by Brett Ratner.

[screams, throws computer out window]

[moves to woods]

[stays there forever]