Opening Wide On Your Couch
Every weekend we’re given a choice at the movies. Do we see the latest action flick? The romantic comedy our date insists we’ll enjoy? Perhaps we’re interested in the art-house offering? Odds are, we’ll see at most one of those movies, and probably regret the choice we made. Lucky for us, there’s home video. Every Tuesday a whole crop of flicks hit DVD, Blu-ray, and streaming. Most are the exact same pieces of crap you skipped seeing three months earlier, but some are the gems you missed. Others never even made it to your local multiplex, and still others never played at any theaters at all. Here’s a breakdown of what’s opening wide on your couch this Tuesday.
Today’s new DVD releases include:
The Rum Diary
Elite Squad: The Enemy Within
Paranormal Activity 3
The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)
Take Shelter
Tiny Furniture
Nude Nuns With Big Guns
George!
The Dead
All Things Fall Apart
Swinging With The Finkels
Modus Operandi.
And that’s just the DVDs! Continue reading on the next page to find out more about those. For a breakdown of some timeless classics newly added to instant streaming on Netflix, click here.
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I’m not sure what is more
unsettlingawesome. The fact that that banner picture exists or that the one shown is the second of at least two versions.My wife couldn’t help but point out how dissapointed the pillow is in the choices the stuffed animal has made.
Filmdrunk Mid-Week Donkey Show? DVDAss? Mort you classy bitch.
“The Dead” is so ominous. Is it night or day? NIGHT or DAY!?
Can somebody get me this Morton Salt guy’s email address? That guy is funny!
Right into the spank bank!
Here swi, Goatfuckertrama@EarthLink.com
What, no Hazel Brown double-vag Eeyore?
Hazel Jones. Sorry. Mind started to wander on equally disappointing lack of a brown eye.
I put Tiny Furniture in my room to make my dong appear larger.
Do you have to see Elite Squad 1 to get Elite Squad 2?
Vince didn’t think so.
I finally saw the first a couple weeks ago, and no, definitely you don’t have to see the first to get the second. And actually, it makes sense to see the second before the first, because the first would just seem really weird and fascist if you hadn’t seen the second.
50 Cent starts out Ochocinco and ends up all Okonkwo.
When the Farrelly Brothers saw the ad for Swinging with the Finkels, they thought it was overwrought, mawkish, and banal.
Sub-point: Mandy Moore must really hate her good girl rep quite a bit. Good news: those girls are typically easy marks.
Swinging With the Finkels? Maybe when I am tired of flogging the dolphin with the laces out…
I was skeptical at first but the dildo thing actually made me laugh. That being said, I’ve probably got everything out of that movie.
Most people like Winnie the Pooh best, but I’ve always had a thing for Ee-whore.
Hmm, Mandy Moore is apparently filled with both Christ’s love AND a dildo . . . who knew?
Morton Salt I haven’t seen you around but you’re funnier than every other standin writer
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