"Sup with the economy, bro?"
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is currently out doing publicity, both for his new family movie Journey 2: The Mysterious Island and for his upcoming summer film G.I. Joe: Retaliation. As part of this push, he recently sat down for an interview with Moviefone, which is notable mainly for this passage:
Well you can reciprocate by telling me how you found out about Bin Laden’s demise before anyone else?
If I tell you that, I won’t have to “kill” you, but I’ll have to behead you — no, I got my sources. I got friends in high places and low places. It was a very interesting day; I’m proud of our country and proud to be American. The individuals who were there were proud to let me know. I knew the President was going to give his speech; I thought he was going to give it at a certain time and so I thought, “I think it’s appropriate that I tweet ‘I’m damn proud to be an American’” and keep it in that space without giving away too much information. And then I got a call saying, “Now the President will give his speech in a couple of hours.” So we had about two hours of Rock tweets out there [Laughs].
Between that, and playing Obama on “SNL,” what will it take to get you to move into the political field?
Right now the best way that I can impact the world is through entertainment. One day, and that day will come, I can impact the world through politics. The great news is that I am American, therefore I can become President. But don’t forget: I am G.I. Joe.
Yes. YES. I would vote for The Rock for president so hard that people outside the polling booth would probably call the police. Think about it. Who the hell is going to mess with a country that elected The Rock president? I just Googled Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s height (NOTE: I love blogging), and the best guess is anywhere from 5’4″-5’6″. The Rock, on the other hand, is 6’4″ and he is a badass and he works out six times a day and he tags all his tweets with stuff like #bootstoasses and he would be THE BEST PRESIDENT. Point: AMERICA. Hell, the State of the Union Address could just be five minutes of sternly worded threats to his political opponents followed by a screening of Fast Five, and anyone who didn’t like it could COME TO THE OVAL OFFICE AND GET SOME.
Yes, this is a terrific thing that must happen. It’s not like we haven’t elected an actor or professional wrestler to political office before. That door has already been opened by people like Ronald Reagan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Jesse Ventura. Now it’s time to kick that mother off its hinges.
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Whenever a wrestler talks about “high places,” Owen Hart sheds a single tear.
This is fantastic.
And whenever a wrestler talks about murdering your family in a steroid-induced berserker rage, Chris Beniot gets uncomfortably quiet.
I am a lady lawyer, young and beautiful. And now I am seeking a good man who can give me a real lo;ve, so I got on βillǐonāireƒrienďs–čˇō/Μit’s where ri;ch men and women loo;king for comp;anionship for a fabulous lifestyle.
A lady lawyer you say? Well, it makes sense. We have female motorists, female voters. I guess that’s the way the world turns.
Not pictured: the step ladder or jumping stilts Vin Diesel is standing on.
On a related note, when is the Mahmoud Ahmadinejad vs. Vin Diesel height contest?
Pretty sure he’d just hang out shirtless with Putin. Not that that’s a bad thing.
No need to go to war when you can People’s Elbow another world leader until he agrees with policy.
If/when someone remakes Labyrinth, Diesel is a lock for Hoggle.
NO! No when…never when. But I can’t disagree with that casting! Prince of the land of stench!
A hundred dollars on him renaming the war in Afghanistan “Operation Camel Clutch.”
Sometimes you have to get hit with a Rock Bottom before things get better.
*bowtie spins, flies out room*
Someone kindly nom this. I would but I’m new and have no avatar and therefore don’t matter.
If he makes always being greased up one of his campaign promises, sign me up.
First thing he would do as president is to have drone aircraft announce “Can you smellllllllllllllll what The Rock is cooking?” after indiscriminately bombing Afghan terrorists/civilians
I’ll vote for him if he makes Bill Pullman his VP, and he delivers every speech like it’s Independence Day.
USA! USA! USA!
Aw, I was gonna say the same thing about Ric Flair, but his speeches would be nothing but WOOOOOOOOOOOO’s.
I vote Paul Bearer for veep.
That writeup combined with that tag… *Kisses fingers* Magnifique!
I’m always delighted when someone notices my idiotic tags.
First thing he would probably do is reinstate “don’t ask don’t tell”. : /
{{Unwanted moment of clarity}}
Oh God. At some point during G.I. Joe he’s going to say, “Can you smell what Roadblock is cooking?”, isn’t he?
At this point I think the Presidency should be decided by a ladder match. First one to retrieve the briefcase becomes the President while the office of VP is filled by the candidate with the most number of offensive moves resulting in the destruction of a folding table. If I have to watch America’s demise, at least let me pay $49.99 for it and invite my friends over to my mom’s basement.
I still think “President Undertaker” would be more intimidating than “President The Rock”
Having The Rock run for president would be worth it just for the attack ads The Undertaker could run regarding Rock’s love affairs with “Mary Jane Rottencrotch”! Dor sho gha!
You’ll have to settle for “Secretary of Defense Undertaker” and “Treasurer Ted DiBiase” (he’s still alive, yeah?)
He got the idea from Idiocracy
Having President Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (*snicker*Johnson*snicker*) as Commander in Chief is the closest chance we’re ever going to get to passing a law that will change our National Anthem to “America! F*ck Yeah!”
He is a Republican, you know.
***ALERT***
I may have been joking in this post.
***END ALERT***
Presidenting is fake.
Nu uh! There’s this one guy who lives around here who does it in his backyard. Totally to the max! But he does wear a clip on tie.
I would vote for The Rock if he convinced me of his concern for the environment. He could do that by promising to chronicle the life of his most famous costar, proving his commitment to bio Diesel.
That is a long way to go for a bad pun.
/Slow Clap
Chris Benoit for Vice President.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan’s idea of hitting the campaign trail is stapling a flag to his 2×4 and stomping around Walmart parking lots.
I hate to break it to any candyass liberals, but The Rock is a Republican. Of course, by the time he runs, you guys will probably have grown up and become one too.
Do you like pancakes? Good, then pancake your ass out of here!
Hi Casey! You sound like a really fun guy!
wasn’t Lincoln a professional wrestler?
And Kennedy liked to wrestle with professionals. Yet another point for the conspiracy theorists!
So Close! I was hoping to vote for Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Hector Comacho
If you thought the mudslinging was bad over Obama’s connection to Bill Ayers, just wait until the opposition party gets a hold of The Rock’s association with Farooq and Kama Mustafa.
President Rock’s transition to office was smoothly accomplished, thanks in large part to the fact that he assembled his cabinet over a decade ago. In other news, the cabinet is now known as the Nation of Domination.
He can’t do any worse in the “House a’ Representin’” than the last 20 years or so, although I guess that makes our decline into Idiocracy official.
Can you imagine seeing this fool deliver the state of union address as The Rock? He has my vote.
IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO YOU VOTE FOR!!!
Senator, who is this roody-poo?
President Rock: “I will provide tax breaks for MILLIONS…”
Both chambers of Congress [in unison]: “AND MILLIONS”
I’m so waiting for Jericho to chair-shot him at the state of the union.
I hope this happens so I can finally pull out my Rock t-shirts and not be embarrassed by it. Now choose Boba Fett as your VP and I’ll look like a political maven.
Tiny Lister was President in the 5th Element, so, you know, there’s precedent there.